I got a full nights sleep and am ready for the day ahead. Since I have been gone from home for a few days I have some errands to run this morning. I awoke with some aches and pain which happens to me in my back if I lay for too long. Luckily I have an appointment with my chiropractor today.
I was thinking of my back and when it all went to wrong. I have had times where the pain is intense and then others when it is manageable. But all in all I have had constant pain for as long as I can remember. It could be I was born this way but many people say it has more to do with an incident in grade school when a teacher placed me rather firmly in my chair. My father even went to school to tell this particular teacher if I needed disciplining it would come from home, only. If you lived in my house you would beg for punishment from school. Both of my parents were harsh beyond reason when giving discipline. It is a miracle that I even survived my childhood from not only from a physical but more so an emotional standpoint.
So when we think about early life, once a child is born, we think about nurture. Every child needs it to survive. Beyond bottle/breast feeding there is nurture of the spirit. I'm talking about how a parent reaches into the heart of a child and instills love, peace, a well rounded sense of worth and well being. When all of those or most of them are absent where does the child get it, or do they? It could be they find it from other family members, child friends or friends parents, teachers, etc. In my case I got it from a few other family members. Without them I do not know what would have happened to me.
Sad as it is many children are faced with this and the rise in child suicide is directly related I am convinced. We can deal with bullies at school if we have a safe haven at home to fall back on. Bullies at school are nothing more than kids who have no one and feel a need to be "somebody." They may even be kids who are abused and have simply given up on ever being accepted by anyone.
Lord, I thank you for giving me some family and friends who spoke positive words and affirmation when I was young. I'm glad I didn't become a harsh kid who felt abandoned, turning my low self esteem into hurtful actions toward others. I am even more grateful you loved me and guided me to a place of grace where I surrendered my heart and life to you. Coming into fellowship with Jesus was a pivotal part of my life and am so glad to be Your daughter. Bless all the kids of the world and keep them safe and from the enemy. Place a hedge of protection around them and bring someone into their life who can guide them to the cross. Amen
I met a wonderful family today as I was making my way down the path. Mom was hiking along with her two kids. They were having a great time talking about school, the upcoming holiday season and who was more fit than the other. I stopped them and introduced myself. We had a chance to chat briefly while her children took out spiral notebooks from their backpacks. The kids huddled together and started writing and sketching what they could see from the path.
"We are on a day hike to the summit, where I have a great surprise for them." She was nervous but excited.
"Sounds fabulous. I hope your day is fun filled." I was happy for them.
"I brought them here to teach them how vast and wonderful our world is and how you can't always see the big picture from a low place. You have to climb high to see it all. I have recently lost my husband and their father. He was taken very suddenly in an accident. Our grief was huge at first and now is getting better. We focus on the joy we have in our life and how much pleasure he brought to us over the years. The children wanted to honor him by climbing, which he loved to do with us, and capturing our feelings this first time without him." She was getting teary as she glanced toward the kids busy in their journals.
"I think it is awesome you can do this with them. What a huge blessing." I was kinda at a loss for words. The family love was radiant and God was teaching me yet again about the power of who He is.
"We are blessed and know it. It wasn't always this way though. My husband and I were very selfish people in high school and college. We tended to our own way, he dated many women and I got pregnant at age sixteen, a boy who really didn't care for me. I forced my mother into signing for me to have an abortion. When my husband and I married I felt God would never allow me to have a child. I had taken a life already and why would He bless me with another. But He did because He is grace and love. Both which I needed desperately. I have given Him all my past failures and mistakes. I pour love into those two kids because of the vast amount my heavenly father poured into mine."
"You are amazing and I can tell God wants to restore you in all areas of your life. I will pray for you to have more and more of the nature of God so you can be everything He designed for You from the beginning in life. You are His precious daughter and He loves you."
She hugged me and we both wept while the children continued journaling, focused on their task.
As she joined them and sat huddled together arm in arm I bowed my head and prayed. God knew what was going on in my heart. He could read the huge unspoken burden. He was covering it with His pinions and asking me to rest there, beneath His wings. I could feel the loving Father very gently removing a huge splinter from my heart. A 'broken' place I never talk about and one I never thought would or could be healed. Very tenderly He was removing it and then did something very astounding. He took my chin, raise my face to His level and kissed me. I never have been kissed like this. It totally drained all misery from my heart. Then he took my hand, the one I write with, and rubbed his nail scared palm over mine. It was like heat entered my soul and I felt release. I didn't have words to describe my experience. I simply cried and let it all go, right there.
When I gathered my self and stood up to move on I looked for the young family but they were gone. I reached to get my backpack and noticed a piece of paper tucked under it. I unfolded it to see a picture of Jesus's hands. In the scars I saw my name. Wow!
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