Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Day 175 - Too sick
No post today. I've been fighting a head cold which finally came on full force. I'm on a break till my head clears.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Day 174 - Cold cold
Today was sunny but cold. Time for the Armed Forces Bowl and going with my new boss. We lasted till after halftime and then headed for warmth and a warm beverage. I wish I could say I woke up feeling great but this congestion and cold are still lingering. I don't make a good sick person.
My children headed to AZ today. Sure hated to see them go. I miss having all my kids close by.
Lord, watch over all my family living away from me. I miss them so much. Station angels to guard them. Amen
So hiking along I am taking in all of nature in this place. There is foliage so plentiful. The going maybe slower because want to savor it all.
My children headed to AZ today. Sure hated to see them go. I miss having all my kids close by.
Lord, watch over all my family living away from me. I miss them so much. Station angels to guard them. Amen
So hiking along I am taking in all of nature in this place. There is foliage so plentiful. The going maybe slower because want to savor it all.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Day 173 - Blah
Today has been a dreary day. Misty, foggy in the morning with drizzle. A great day to get things done around the house. By afternoon it is starting to warm and the sun peeking out. Went out for an errand and then home again. More work and to get some things ready for a holiday party this evening.
My children were here with the grand kids and they have gone shopping. Soon the Waco crowd will head home and tomorrow the Phoenix ones head west. It has been nice having them even though everyone was sick most of the time. I am not feeling my usual self and a bit draggy.
Thinking today about New Years which is right around the corner. I'm not a party animal and rather enjoy being in the house and not out with the crazy people who drink and drive. I very much prefer the confines of my couch.
I think today was one of those days I felt my age. I wish I didn't because I am an energetic person for the most part. But today, since I did not sleep too well last night, I am just going through the motions.
Lord, please help me to feel better. I want to enjoy the end of 2012 and look forward to all You have for me in the New Year. I want to feel excited and anticipatory at all the goodness coming. Amen
So after a momentary reflection about heaven and what it will be like I find it time to continue my trek. This particular path is much more scenic than the last two. I am enjoying finding real cool treasures and their significance for me as I move through 'broken' events of life. Praise You Lord for nature and its place in our lives.
My children were here with the grand kids and they have gone shopping. Soon the Waco crowd will head home and tomorrow the Phoenix ones head west. It has been nice having them even though everyone was sick most of the time. I am not feeling my usual self and a bit draggy.
Thinking today about New Years which is right around the corner. I'm not a party animal and rather enjoy being in the house and not out with the crazy people who drink and drive. I very much prefer the confines of my couch.
I think today was one of those days I felt my age. I wish I didn't because I am an energetic person for the most part. But today, since I did not sleep too well last night, I am just going through the motions.
Lord, please help me to feel better. I want to enjoy the end of 2012 and look forward to all You have for me in the New Year. I want to feel excited and anticipatory at all the goodness coming. Amen
So after a momentary reflection about heaven and what it will be like I find it time to continue my trek. This particular path is much more scenic than the last two. I am enjoying finding real cool treasures and their significance for me as I move through 'broken' events of life. Praise You Lord for nature and its place in our lives.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Day 172 - Young life gone
You just never know what news can arise in a moments notice. I was sweeping my floor today when I got a call from my cousin in Kansas. She was calling to say her younger sister's son Devan had been killed in an auto accident.
My heart immediately sank and my brain became flooded with images, peoples faces, sounds and statements. Rushing in were the similarities of this event and one of my own some sixteen years ago.
Devan was gone, 22 years old. (Paul was 21) Devan was in the Marines (Paul the Navy) and had been in a few years after briefly attending Hutchison Community College (Paul in a few years after briefly attending Johnson County Community College) Devan is the oldest child and first born son for my cousin Kim (Paul was my oldest and first born son). Devan died as a passenger in a car driven by another (Paul as well) Both boys were organ donors.
I know the intense pain my cousin Kim is feeling and the numbness in her soul at such a horrific and tragic loss. The suddeness of it means no closure, no last good byes. There are those things you wish you'd have said if you had only known. All the future held for these young lives now gone in an instant.
Lord, I know the very life we live is not our own. I know everything we experience is filtered through your hands and will ultimately work for good. But in this moment of the intense pain it is hard to find You. We have questions and know answers will not come. Our only peace comes in being thankful for the life You gave us to birth, raise, love, and hold for whatever brief and fleeting moment. Be with Kim and her family as they mourn and help the family to heal with hope. Amen
So as I walk the path, thinking of where my lady I saw earlier could have gone, I am struck by an overwhelming since of loss. She released her precious family to You and I have as well. I know You have plans and purposes for each of us. This journey for me is about not only healing 'broken' areas but finding purpose for all life brings. I'm beginning to wonder if that lady existed. Was she an angel?
I glanced up an could imagine the loved ones who are in heaven before us. Just like you are watching over those of us alive in this world You are also speaking into the lives of those who are with You. Then one grand and glorious day we will all be together and spend eternity in worshipful joy.
My heart immediately sank and my brain became flooded with images, peoples faces, sounds and statements. Rushing in were the similarities of this event and one of my own some sixteen years ago.
Devan was gone, 22 years old. (Paul was 21) Devan was in the Marines (Paul the Navy) and had been in a few years after briefly attending Hutchison Community College (Paul in a few years after briefly attending Johnson County Community College) Devan is the oldest child and first born son for my cousin Kim (Paul was my oldest and first born son). Devan died as a passenger in a car driven by another (Paul as well) Both boys were organ donors.
I know the intense pain my cousin Kim is feeling and the numbness in her soul at such a horrific and tragic loss. The suddeness of it means no closure, no last good byes. There are those things you wish you'd have said if you had only known. All the future held for these young lives now gone in an instant.
Lord, I know the very life we live is not our own. I know everything we experience is filtered through your hands and will ultimately work for good. But in this moment of the intense pain it is hard to find You. We have questions and know answers will not come. Our only peace comes in being thankful for the life You gave us to birth, raise, love, and hold for whatever brief and fleeting moment. Be with Kim and her family as they mourn and help the family to heal with hope. Amen
So as I walk the path, thinking of where my lady I saw earlier could have gone, I am struck by an overwhelming since of loss. She released her precious family to You and I have as well. I know You have plans and purposes for each of us. This journey for me is about not only healing 'broken' areas but finding purpose for all life brings. I'm beginning to wonder if that lady existed. Was she an angel?
I glanced up an could imagine the loved ones who are in heaven before us. Just like you are watching over those of us alive in this world You are also speaking into the lives of those who are with You. Then one grand and glorious day we will all be together and spend eternity in worshipful joy.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Day 171 - Paul
Today is always a hard day for me. It is about 9:30pm and I remember thirty-eight years ago tonight. I was delivering my first child, a boy, a big boy 9lbs. 11ozs. It was a difficult birth but that was replaced with joy when I saw this baby. He was my son. I named him Paul.
I have often reflected what Abraham must have felt like when God asked him to sacrifice Isaac. Luckily he didn't have to follow through but he was willing. What did Mary feel when she watched her son, Jesus, carry a cross to a hill called Calvary where he would be a sacrifice? Her pain had to be tremendous.
I have often felt this since my son died. I know the grief of losing a child you have loved, raised and one you had such hopes and dreams for in their future.
Each year I remember his birthday and his death date. I strive to make his life have meaning and my experience also for others in my shoes.
Lord, it was a joy to celebrate your birthday yesterday. Birthdays are so festive, until......
Even though the one I remember today is shadowed in sorrow I give you thanks for giving Paul to me for the years I did have him. I will never forget the wonderful things he brought to my life and the memories we shared. Amen
........So as I was about to run and save this woman from death I saw a fascinating thing happen. She took all the pictures in her hands and one by one tucked them into a tube. She took the tube and gently rolled it down the mountain. She then dropped to her knees and prayed, "Father I am your daughter and today I kneel here to die to myself. I am nothing without you and I am everything with you. I love my children and grandchildren but realize I am a huge stumbling block of interference if I hold onto to them. So as an act of release I have set them free. I ask for you to gather them unto yourself. Watch over them, guide them, give them wisdom and show them all how to love like You. For everything I was to them which they loved may it burn bright and for everything I was which brought pain or despair may You erase from their hearts. I ask you to kill in me and in them any evil or wicked way which stands to ruin their future. Amen"
She then stood up and sang "Think of me everyday, hold tight to what I say and I'll be close to you even from far away. Know that where ever you are it is never to far if you think of me I'll be with you."
I reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes. When I was able to focus I looked and she was gone. Where could she have gone? I didn't hear her walk away. I reached in my pack for a tissue. I had felt deeply compassionate for this woman.
I decided to journey on and if I met her on the path I would introduce myself. She would make a very special friend cause she was so much like me.
I have often reflected what Abraham must have felt like when God asked him to sacrifice Isaac. Luckily he didn't have to follow through but he was willing. What did Mary feel when she watched her son, Jesus, carry a cross to a hill called Calvary where he would be a sacrifice? Her pain had to be tremendous.
I have often felt this since my son died. I know the grief of losing a child you have loved, raised and one you had such hopes and dreams for in their future.
Each year I remember his birthday and his death date. I strive to make his life have meaning and my experience also for others in my shoes.
Lord, it was a joy to celebrate your birthday yesterday. Birthdays are so festive, until......
Even though the one I remember today is shadowed in sorrow I give you thanks for giving Paul to me for the years I did have him. I will never forget the wonderful things he brought to my life and the memories we shared. Amen
........So as I was about to run and save this woman from death I saw a fascinating thing happen. She took all the pictures in her hands and one by one tucked them into a tube. She took the tube and gently rolled it down the mountain. She then dropped to her knees and prayed, "Father I am your daughter and today I kneel here to die to myself. I am nothing without you and I am everything with you. I love my children and grandchildren but realize I am a huge stumbling block of interference if I hold onto to them. So as an act of release I have set them free. I ask for you to gather them unto yourself. Watch over them, guide them, give them wisdom and show them all how to love like You. For everything I was to them which they loved may it burn bright and for everything I was which brought pain or despair may You erase from their hearts. I ask you to kill in me and in them any evil or wicked way which stands to ruin their future. Amen"
She then stood up and sang "Think of me everyday, hold tight to what I say and I'll be close to you even from far away. Know that where ever you are it is never to far if you think of me I'll be with you."
I reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes. When I was able to focus I looked and she was gone. Where could she have gone? I didn't hear her walk away. I reached in my pack for a tissue. I had felt deeply compassionate for this woman.
I decided to journey on and if I met her on the path I would introduce myself. She would make a very special friend cause she was so much like me.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Day 170 - Happy Birthday Jesus
The big day arrived. I wish I could say it started with thrills and excitement. For the kids, yes but the adults not so much. We had barely gone to bed and the reindeer hoofs had hardly cleared the roof when one child awoke and asked if it was time to get up. This constant "it is time yet" kept up from 1:30 to 4am when the other chidren were awoke and the festivites could not longer be held off. It took several cups of coffee to get the adults bleary eyes open enough to focus on the gifts and better yet the camera lens for capturing their glee.
All in all it was a good morning and everyone got a special something and then some. By 5:30am it was time to head back to bed for some and move into breakfast mode for others. A quick check of the weather showed sleet and snow headed our way so we quickly packed up the car and headed for home. Wanted to be home before the roads got bad.
Lord, celebrating your birth is indeed a time of uncontainable joy. Knowing what this means in our life is without words, exciting. Thanks is simply not enough but offering my life for You to rule over is the least I can do. Amen
So after getting back on the trail I walked a bit further and listened. I did hear it, but where was it coming from. I could see a small section of trees to the right and down a small hill. I walked toward the crying. As I approached I could see a lady, her back toward me. She sat cross-legged. In front of her pictures lay. I decided to not intrude, keeping a safe distance. Her crys turned audible as she prayed. I bowed me head in reverance and to be an agreeing partner to her petitions.
"Oh Jesus I give my family to You. I have done the best I could but it seems it was not adequate. My children don't respect me, are easily annoyed, frustrated and angered at things I really didn't think was upsetting. I suppose things could have been done differently but I felt it is too late to correct. Now I pray for the children and their children. May God bless them. May another generation never feel the torment of what I feel. May it die here with me."
I was horrified. I feared she was about to take her life. I was trying to think how I would intercede and prevent this tragedy. Then before I could move in her direction I saw the most fascinating thing. She collected the pictures and......
To be completed tomorrow.
All in all it was a good morning and everyone got a special something and then some. By 5:30am it was time to head back to bed for some and move into breakfast mode for others. A quick check of the weather showed sleet and snow headed our way so we quickly packed up the car and headed for home. Wanted to be home before the roads got bad.
Lord, celebrating your birth is indeed a time of uncontainable joy. Knowing what this means in our life is without words, exciting. Thanks is simply not enough but offering my life for You to rule over is the least I can do. Amen
So after getting back on the trail I walked a bit further and listened. I did hear it, but where was it coming from. I could see a small section of trees to the right and down a small hill. I walked toward the crying. As I approached I could see a lady, her back toward me. She sat cross-legged. In front of her pictures lay. I decided to not intrude, keeping a safe distance. Her crys turned audible as she prayed. I bowed me head in reverance and to be an agreeing partner to her petitions.
"Oh Jesus I give my family to You. I have done the best I could but it seems it was not adequate. My children don't respect me, are easily annoyed, frustrated and angered at things I really didn't think was upsetting. I suppose things could have been done differently but I felt it is too late to correct. Now I pray for the children and their children. May God bless them. May another generation never feel the torment of what I feel. May it die here with me."
I was horrified. I feared she was about to take her life. I was trying to think how I would intercede and prevent this tragedy. Then before I could move in her direction I saw the most fascinating thing. She collected the pictures and......
To be completed tomorrow.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Day 169 - Here comes Santa Claus
Well tonight is the eve of Christmas. To the small children it is a night to go to bed early because the jolly fat man comes bearing gifts. I know it is tradition to hype up Santa but this year will mark an end of that for me.
My adopted daughter is nine and this will be the last year she still believes, or has yet to be told Santa's true identity. Although it is sad, the passing of a Ho-Ho-Ho, I'm looking forward to getting a new tradition started. I am going to start something more in line with the meaning of Christmas. It will be all about Jesus.
Lord, I am so thankful for this time of year. Celebrating the birth of Jesus is very special. It reminds me of the tremendous plan you had for mankind from the start to redeem us for eternity. The joy we anticipate tomorrow, the actual birthdate of Jesus our Immanuel. Amen
So stepping my way up the path I have to kick aside a lot of brush and notice not far away something else. I walk off the path and come to a nest of hay tucked next to a metal piece of awning. It clearly is residue from a structure that used to be erected on this site. It made me pause. I wonder what it would be like to come upon the stable where the baby Jesus was first laid to sleep. I think back to what it must have been like out in the cold and trying to find something to make a baby bed out of. I reached and grabbed a hand ful of hay. I am going to take this home and use in a display of my treasures on this journey.
My adopted daughter is nine and this will be the last year she still believes, or has yet to be told Santa's true identity. Although it is sad, the passing of a Ho-Ho-Ho, I'm looking forward to getting a new tradition started. I am going to start something more in line with the meaning of Christmas. It will be all about Jesus.
Lord, I am so thankful for this time of year. Celebrating the birth of Jesus is very special. It reminds me of the tremendous plan you had for mankind from the start to redeem us for eternity. The joy we anticipate tomorrow, the actual birthdate of Jesus our Immanuel. Amen
So stepping my way up the path I have to kick aside a lot of brush and notice not far away something else. I walk off the path and come to a nest of hay tucked next to a metal piece of awning. It clearly is residue from a structure that used to be erected on this site. It made me pause. I wonder what it would be like to come upon the stable where the baby Jesus was first laid to sleep. I think back to what it must have been like out in the cold and trying to find something to make a baby bed out of. I reached and grabbed a hand ful of hay. I am going to take this home and use in a display of my treasures on this journey.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Day 168 - Fathers Contribution
Todays message at church I listened to on my iPad. I loved the Christmas music. In the sermon Pastor Morris made a statement which I found insightful. "The sins (iniquities) of the father are visited on the children and for generations. Interesting it did not say the sins of the mother. This is worth noting because the same is true for the opposite. The blessings of the father are visited on the children.
Lord, I am very grateful for your provision of blessing we can tap into by owning our position as your child. I yearn for your blessings in my life. I also submit my earthly fathers sin and ask for the blood of Christ to cover any issues which would affect me. Amen
So as I take time to finish putting colored paper decorations on this tiny tree I am reminding myself how wonderful the birth of Christ is for the believer. His coming is huge for the unbeliever also, yet they don't know it and haven't appropriated it in their life. It will be a great climb today as I begin up this path.
The foliage here is much more dense and it feels more like a rain forest. I am so eager to see what awaits. But like anything, I can't experience it till I start moving. So I get my backpack in place and set off.
Lord, I am very grateful for your provision of blessing we can tap into by owning our position as your child. I yearn for your blessings in my life. I also submit my earthly fathers sin and ask for the blood of Christ to cover any issues which would affect me. Amen
So as I take time to finish putting colored paper decorations on this tiny tree I am reminding myself how wonderful the birth of Christ is for the believer. His coming is huge for the unbeliever also, yet they don't know it and haven't appropriated it in their life. It will be a great climb today as I begin up this path.
The foliage here is much more dense and it feels more like a rain forest. I am so eager to see what awaits. But like anything, I can't experience it till I start moving. So I get my backpack in place and set off.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Day 167 - Ready for Santa
Well today was a day to get things together and head south to my daughter's house for the Christmas. My other daughter was arriving from Arizona to spend a week. It is sure to be a good few days. The only 'broken' thing about this year's gathering is my son in MN is absent. When your family is spread out as far as mine it is very difficult getting them all together for any event. Maybe next year.
Lord, please help the family to have an enjoyable few days together. May the children be blessed with the joy and happiness of the season. I love the beauty in their eyes as they are anticipating Christmas. Amen
So getting ready to head up the trail I pause as my eye catches sight of a tiny tree, a tiny Christmas Tree. I decided to take a few things in my bag and form a few colorful decorations. Once done it was time to move on.
Lord, please help the family to have an enjoyable few days together. May the children be blessed with the joy and happiness of the season. I love the beauty in their eyes as they are anticipating Christmas. Amen
So getting ready to head up the trail I pause as my eye catches sight of a tiny tree, a tiny Christmas Tree. I decided to take a few things in my bag and form a few colorful decorations. Once done it was time to move on.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Day 166 - Who are you on the Trip?
Today I had an appointment with my massage therapist because I had been having some neck pain. After getting my writing done I was in need of a release of some very tired muscles. While I was there my therapist gave me her take on life. It was good so I asked if I could borrow and blog about it. She said, "Sure." So I offer the following for you to mull over.
When you go on a long road trip there are many different people along on the trip with us. There is the three year old who is strapped in a car seat, anticipates arrival but complacent knowing the driver will get him/her there. Then there is the adolesent who is constantly asking, "Are we there yet?" Then there is the nagging wife who keeps checking the map and argueing about the directions the driver has chosen. Believe it or not everyone arrives at the appointed destination but some are more flazzled in the process.
So who are you? Are you the child, going along and being quiet for most of the trip. Are you the adolesent who is impatient and wants it over with. Are you the nagging wife? Not content with the road traveled and looking to divert the course at any time.
Lord, I am more than happy these days to be the three year old and let you navigate me the way you choose. I am totally in Your hands. I can say it is peceful and restng. Amen
So as I am poking along I prayed. I asked God which way I go from here. I know whatever path he selects the climb will be full of neat expereinces He intended for me. I've resigned myself to not be impatient or bossy along the way.
When you go on a long road trip there are many different people along on the trip with us. There is the three year old who is strapped in a car seat, anticipates arrival but complacent knowing the driver will get him/her there. Then there is the adolesent who is constantly asking, "Are we there yet?" Then there is the nagging wife who keeps checking the map and argueing about the directions the driver has chosen. Believe it or not everyone arrives at the appointed destination but some are more flazzled in the process.
So who are you? Are you the child, going along and being quiet for most of the trip. Are you the adolesent who is impatient and wants it over with. Are you the nagging wife? Not content with the road traveled and looking to divert the course at any time.
Lord, I am more than happy these days to be the three year old and let you navigate me the way you choose. I am totally in Your hands. I can say it is peceful and restng. Amen
So as I am poking along I prayed. I asked God which way I go from here. I know whatever path he selects the climb will be full of neat expereinces He intended for me. I've resigned myself to not be impatient or bossy along the way.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Day 165 - Dizzy
It is no fun to start your day on the dizzy side. I was a bit shaky and felt weird this morning for about 2 hours. Gradually over the course of the day I got to feeling better. I think I am fighting getting a cold because my nose was a bit runny.
Enough about that, it was the day I finally got my information completed for the new class starting in January. That was a huge weight off of me. I have a few errands tomorrow and then I will be ready for the holidays.
Lord, please help me to be in peak shape this next week to visit with family. I want to enjoy myself and not feel under the weather. I submit my body to You for healing and thank you it is done! Amen
So going a bit further I decide to take a leisurely stroll today. I need a day when I am moving but watching the pace. It is all good. I'm in no hurry.
Enough about that, it was the day I finally got my information completed for the new class starting in January. That was a huge weight off of me. I have a few errands tomorrow and then I will be ready for the holidays.
Lord, please help me to be in peak shape this next week to visit with family. I want to enjoy myself and not feel under the weather. I submit my body to You for healing and thank you it is done! Amen
So going a bit further I decide to take a leisurely stroll today. I need a day when I am moving but watching the pace. It is all good. I'm in no hurry.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Day 164 - One more Picture for the Road
So today was double fun at the children's theatre. Nicole finished her run as Buck the Bunny in "A Snow White Christmas." She is sad it is over but looking forward to more acting classes in January and then trying out for other productions in 2013.
She is so talented. Makes me happy to see her enjoying using the talents God placed in her before she was born. I love to sing and together we are pretty good. I have some neat things planned for 2013 involving her and me.
Lots of errands we ran and then home. A good day, got lots done and now counting down till Christmas. I have two more gifts to buy and then I'm ready for the Big day. Praying for family traveling. Going to be great.
Lord, I am so thrilled for all the blessings I get to enjoy. I'm happy the most when I see young people growing in God given talents. It is warming. Amen
So after swinging on the bridge I thought it time to get up and continue on. I made my way across and then decided to look back from where God has brought me so far. The beauty behind me is warming but not near as much as the majesty in front of me. I can see a landscape with every sort of vegetation and rugged peaks jutting into the clouds.
This isn't going to be easy but it is going to be rewarding. I know. I'm anticipating what is to come but want to do something first. I get my camera out and snap a picture of the bridge. Nothing can compare to what this means to me. It is going to make a nice addition to the mural of goodies when I get home.
She is so talented. Makes me happy to see her enjoying using the talents God placed in her before she was born. I love to sing and together we are pretty good. I have some neat things planned for 2013 involving her and me.
Lots of errands we ran and then home. A good day, got lots done and now counting down till Christmas. I have two more gifts to buy and then I'm ready for the Big day. Praying for family traveling. Going to be great.
Lord, I am so thrilled for all the blessings I get to enjoy. I'm happy the most when I see young people growing in God given talents. It is warming. Amen
So after swinging on the bridge I thought it time to get up and continue on. I made my way across and then decided to look back from where God has brought me so far. The beauty behind me is warming but not near as much as the majesty in front of me. I can see a landscape with every sort of vegetation and rugged peaks jutting into the clouds.
This isn't going to be easy but it is going to be rewarding. I know. I'm anticipating what is to come but want to do something first. I get my camera out and snap a picture of the bridge. Nothing can compare to what this means to me. It is going to make a nice addition to the mural of goodies when I get home.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Day 163 - This Girl
Today I began my day with prayer before rising and then mid morning the Prayer of Jabez. For those who are unfamiliar with this prayer, I was asking God for His favor in regards to the expanding of territory for my upcoming business in January. It is so thrilling to be moving in something you love and God has blessed you with but it can also be scary as I have blogged before.
Today I felt especially positive and encouraged with God, His power to help me, and showing me the way. I have mentioned many times to Him in my prayers...."I will fail miserably without You!"
So I am nearing completion of the curriculum I am writing and it has been a very humbling task. It has allowed me to reflect on my entire career in dentistry. I have seen myself in many phases as I write.
I remember the young girl who was struggling to make a way with four children under five years old. Without skills to speak of and no husband to support her. Dentistry was the way to provide for her family. In the beginning it did little more than to pay for day care but it was a re-entry into the work world.
Then there was the young girl who dared to think she could publish a paper in a major dental journal and went another step and challenged a dental certification board to obtain credentials. All of this with no formal education or training. Not to mention writing an on-the-job training program for the Veterans Administration so she could be compensated.
Then there was the girl who thought teaching others was a step worthy of her skills. Wow, what students can teach the teacher and how they tried to mimic the ethics she poured into them. Never a more rewarding experience for someone who refused to be told she simply didn't have the required academic standing.
Moving further into the curriculum I saw the girl who left the comfort of the dental business office to attend hygiene school, struggling to learn because most of the students were years younger and didn't have the family responsibilities she faced.
Then there was the girl who took on the US Army and championed a cause all the way to the JAG core in Washington. Winning a victory for delegation of duties that have touched the lives of many who don't even know her. Then this girl answers the call of her peers to testify as an expert witness for the Texas Legislature. Rising to address an issue she knows very well.
I cried a bit as I watched this girl move from one dental job to another until she was told her clinical days were over due to impairment and needed surgery. So this girl re-invented herself in the profession she loves and has taken on being a consultant, inventor, insurance liaison and technology trainer just to name a few. She has returned to her clinical and education arena now with the next step in her journey. Wow, where is this girl going next?
Lord, I am in awe of this girl. She is me. At times I don't recognize her but I remember her struggles, painful challenges, and most of all the passion that has been alive for over thirty years. I don't want to loose sight of what You have done in her. I don't want to limit Your ever increasing love and open doors ahead of her. I want to walk in all you have for her. Amen
So as I stand looking at this crevice and the immediate need to find a way over I am not shaken. I have stood and faced the giants before and, with God, overcome them all. This is a physical situation for which there is an answer. I just have to seek it out. I watched as the clouds drifted by allowing for the sun to shine brighter in one particular area. I looked and sure enough, just hidden out of sight was a bridge. What was at first glance not seen became very clear.
I walked over to the edge and took hold of the ropes leading me across. It may have been a very shaky suspension bridge but it was a way to the other side. With each step I praised the Lord. I knew there was much more ahead of me on this journey. The sway of the bridge did not concern me because it was as if Christ was rocking the girl who never played like a child oughta play. Too much responsibility as a very young girl stole innocent playful experiences from her. But it did give her grit, determination, motivation.
So I stopped mid crossing and sat dangling my legs over the edge. I closed my eyes and pretended I was on a huge swing set. Behind me the Lord and in front of me His promises. He had kept this girl all of her life and He isn't done yet.
Alone in this moment I sang a song, "Jesus loves me." Simple message and powerful bold proclamation. He does! It doesn't get any richer than to know who loves you. And...Always Will.
Today I felt especially positive and encouraged with God, His power to help me, and showing me the way. I have mentioned many times to Him in my prayers...."I will fail miserably without You!"
So I am nearing completion of the curriculum I am writing and it has been a very humbling task. It has allowed me to reflect on my entire career in dentistry. I have seen myself in many phases as I write.
I remember the young girl who was struggling to make a way with four children under five years old. Without skills to speak of and no husband to support her. Dentistry was the way to provide for her family. In the beginning it did little more than to pay for day care but it was a re-entry into the work world.
Then there was the young girl who dared to think she could publish a paper in a major dental journal and went another step and challenged a dental certification board to obtain credentials. All of this with no formal education or training. Not to mention writing an on-the-job training program for the Veterans Administration so she could be compensated.
Then there was the girl who thought teaching others was a step worthy of her skills. Wow, what students can teach the teacher and how they tried to mimic the ethics she poured into them. Never a more rewarding experience for someone who refused to be told she simply didn't have the required academic standing.
Moving further into the curriculum I saw the girl who left the comfort of the dental business office to attend hygiene school, struggling to learn because most of the students were years younger and didn't have the family responsibilities she faced.
Then there was the girl who took on the US Army and championed a cause all the way to the JAG core in Washington. Winning a victory for delegation of duties that have touched the lives of many who don't even know her. Then this girl answers the call of her peers to testify as an expert witness for the Texas Legislature. Rising to address an issue she knows very well.
I cried a bit as I watched this girl move from one dental job to another until she was told her clinical days were over due to impairment and needed surgery. So this girl re-invented herself in the profession she loves and has taken on being a consultant, inventor, insurance liaison and technology trainer just to name a few. She has returned to her clinical and education arena now with the next step in her journey. Wow, where is this girl going next?
Lord, I am in awe of this girl. She is me. At times I don't recognize her but I remember her struggles, painful challenges, and most of all the passion that has been alive for over thirty years. I don't want to loose sight of what You have done in her. I don't want to limit Your ever increasing love and open doors ahead of her. I want to walk in all you have for her. Amen
So as I stand looking at this crevice and the immediate need to find a way over I am not shaken. I have stood and faced the giants before and, with God, overcome them all. This is a physical situation for which there is an answer. I just have to seek it out. I watched as the clouds drifted by allowing for the sun to shine brighter in one particular area. I looked and sure enough, just hidden out of sight was a bridge. What was at first glance not seen became very clear.
I walked over to the edge and took hold of the ropes leading me across. It may have been a very shaky suspension bridge but it was a way to the other side. With each step I praised the Lord. I knew there was much more ahead of me on this journey. The sway of the bridge did not concern me because it was as if Christ was rocking the girl who never played like a child oughta play. Too much responsibility as a very young girl stole innocent playful experiences from her. But it did give her grit, determination, motivation.
So I stopped mid crossing and sat dangling my legs over the edge. I closed my eyes and pretended I was on a huge swing set. Behind me the Lord and in front of me His promises. He had kept this girl all of her life and He isn't done yet.
Alone in this moment I sang a song, "Jesus loves me." Simple message and powerful bold proclamation. He does! It doesn't get any richer than to know who loves you. And...Always Will.
Day 162 - Oops
Been writing so much for my curriculum I fell asleep and then woke up thinking about my blog. I had not even written anything yesterday. Ooops....
More tonight, I promise. Tis the season, busy, busy BUSY
More tonight, I promise. Tis the season, busy, busy BUSY
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Day 161 - The Devil made me do it
I always love Sunday because I get some wonderful revelation from the message. Today was no exception. I heard Pastor Evans from Trinity Fellowship speak on the Devil and his mission in our lives.
Now the message wasn't new to me. I know the enemy seeks to kill, steal and destroy but what I did take away from the message was a special three words.....
matches emotional disposition
The enemy comes in many forms and his mission that is most cunning are those three words. In other words if he can get you to agree with your emotional standing he has made a way in. So if you are upset he substantiates that response and validates your feelings. Once he can get you agreeing with any feelings he has accomplished his mission. He can then get you sidetracked from the Word and what Christ has to say about the situation.
Lord, it is great to have Your Word as the guide for us. It is what we have to take our stand on. We need to constantly be looking to it and to hearing from You. We can get in much trouble listening to our feelings. Help us as we look to You alone. Amen
I am eager to get going and so as I take a drink of water I am mentally checking my surroundings for clues as to where I should go. I see a small animal running across the path to the left and then stops and disappears. I am intrigued so I head over to see where he has gone. I notice a deep crevice in the dirt and I strain but can't see the bottom. There is no way to cross this thing. I look right and left for an end but see none. I suddenly realize I am trapped on an area of space with no way over to the other side. Going back is not an option either for many reasons. In my anxiousness I hear a voice telling me how stuck I am and how terrifying it is going to be alone and supplies running low.
Before I knew it I had allowed the enemy to "match my emotional disposition" and I was exhibiting more fear than faith. I immediately took captive those thoughts and dropped to pray. There was no way I was letting the enemy into my spirit. I'll get what I need from The Lord and then I will attack this problem head on.
Now the message wasn't new to me. I know the enemy seeks to kill, steal and destroy but what I did take away from the message was a special three words.....
matches emotional disposition
The enemy comes in many forms and his mission that is most cunning are those three words. In other words if he can get you to agree with your emotional standing he has made a way in. So if you are upset he substantiates that response and validates your feelings. Once he can get you agreeing with any feelings he has accomplished his mission. He can then get you sidetracked from the Word and what Christ has to say about the situation.
Lord, it is great to have Your Word as the guide for us. It is what we have to take our stand on. We need to constantly be looking to it and to hearing from You. We can get in much trouble listening to our feelings. Help us as we look to You alone. Amen
I am eager to get going and so as I take a drink of water I am mentally checking my surroundings for clues as to where I should go. I see a small animal running across the path to the left and then stops and disappears. I am intrigued so I head over to see where he has gone. I notice a deep crevice in the dirt and I strain but can't see the bottom. There is no way to cross this thing. I look right and left for an end but see none. I suddenly realize I am trapped on an area of space with no way over to the other side. Going back is not an option either for many reasons. In my anxiousness I hear a voice telling me how stuck I am and how terrifying it is going to be alone and supplies running low.
Before I knew it I had allowed the enemy to "match my emotional disposition" and I was exhibiting more fear than faith. I immediately took captive those thoughts and dropped to pray. There was no way I was letting the enemy into my spirit. I'll get what I need from The Lord and then I will attack this problem head on.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Day 160 - Awakening
So today was a busy day getting activities wrapped up for Nicole, shopping, a few hours of work and then a funeral followed by dinner out and theatre. Home now for some recorded basketball before hitting the hay, whew!
The thing I realized was no matter what activities you have to do in a day it helps to be organized to keep from being stressed. I have had a bit of tension arise the last couple of days and need a massage, badly.
Lord, thank you for helping to remind us You are the one who carries our stressful loads and keeps us peaceful. I am so happy to roll cares to You. I am in love with your intense attention you give to me when I need it most. Amen
So as I lay and get ready to rise from this peaceful spot I tuck the tragedy away which happened yesterday and have a new awakening from where I will now operate. I am ready to move with The Lord into ALL things He has for me. I will carry His love and then move as He directs.
I look down at my hands. I take them and turn my palms upward. I offer all these hands can do to His glory. I ask for wisdom, discernment and boldness while committing myself to obedience. I close my eyes and bow my head. I ask God to touch me with His power, anoint me. He is my shepherd and I follow His voice....always and forever.
The thing I realized was no matter what activities you have to do in a day it helps to be organized to keep from being stressed. I have had a bit of tension arise the last couple of days and need a massage, badly.
Lord, thank you for helping to remind us You are the one who carries our stressful loads and keeps us peaceful. I am so happy to roll cares to You. I am in love with your intense attention you give to me when I need it most. Amen
So as I lay and get ready to rise from this peaceful spot I tuck the tragedy away which happened yesterday and have a new awakening from where I will now operate. I am ready to move with The Lord into ALL things He has for me. I will carry His love and then move as He directs.
I look down at my hands. I take them and turn my palms upward. I offer all these hands can do to His glory. I ask for wisdom, discernment and boldness while committing myself to obedience. I close my eyes and bow my head. I ask God to touch me with His power, anoint me. He is my shepherd and I follow His voice....always and forever.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Day 159 - In Honor Of
In light of the events from today in Connecticut, I am going to respectively be silent and pray. The lives which are 'broken' as young children were slaughtered at the hands of a sick young man cause me to have no words. I leave it all at the feet of Jesus and ask for His sovereignty.
Jesus as you welcome home today many young children who flock around your feet I pray you will cradle them as we as a nation try and help the grieving parents to go on without them. We need Your peace in a powerful way. Amen
I will lie here in this field another day and pray for the fleeting time we call life. In honor of the children, Lord Jesus, hug them....tightly.
Jesus as you welcome home today many young children who flock around your feet I pray you will cradle them as we as a nation try and help the grieving parents to go on without them. We need Your peace in a powerful way. Amen
I will lie here in this field another day and pray for the fleeting time we call life. In honor of the children, Lord Jesus, hug them....tightly.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Day 158 - On the road again
Today was filled with more writing and then some shopping and then on the road again to see my other grandchild in a school performance. Home now and it is late. Time for bed.
Lord, thank you for keeping me safe when traveling out of town. Thank you for blessing my new business and the people I am working with. Thank you for providing and being the everything I need. Amen
So as I lay here looking at the sky I am feeling better, much more relaxed. I know when this rest if over I will be energized to go for more. I am happy to wait and move when I feel it is right. Every avenue to mend something 'broken' is preceded by rest. The more I rest the bigger the healing that awaits.
Lord, thank you for keeping me safe when traveling out of town. Thank you for blessing my new business and the people I am working with. Thank you for providing and being the everything I need. Amen
So as I lay here looking at the sky I am feeling better, much more relaxed. I know when this rest if over I will be energized to go for more. I am happy to wait and move when I feel it is right. Every avenue to mend something 'broken' is preceded by rest. The more I rest the bigger the healing that awaits.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Day 157 - Christmas Luncheon
Had a wonderful time with some great ladies at the "It's Orchid" Christmas Luncheon. It was a really nice two hours and the food was spectacular. I really love these ladies and all the passion and purpose which they represent. It is an honor to be involved and to help as I can.
It is a great time whenever I can get together with girlfriends. I never had a sister growing up and my interaction with other women was very limited. I am glad to have this time to build relationships. That's what it is all about anyway. God made us this way, to be in relationship.
Then I came home and started feeling a bit queasy in my stomach. I don't know if it is a bug or something I ate but I'm hoping a good nights sleep will help me get past this thing. I am not a good sick person. I try and run fast from illness.
Lord, I loved having time with friends today. Really didn't like feeling ill this afternoon. Please take whatever is wrong in my stomach and help me get over it. I submit my body to you and ask you to purify the temple. I don't want to be held back, especially by being sick. Got too much to do. Amen
So taking a few minutes to rest. I kick off my boots and laid down in the grassy area by the path. It feels good to get horizontal. I'm looking overhead at the beautiful sky and day dreaming a bit. Helps to just let the mind go from time to time. Helps me concentrate on The Lord.
It is a great time whenever I can get together with girlfriends. I never had a sister growing up and my interaction with other women was very limited. I am glad to have this time to build relationships. That's what it is all about anyway. God made us this way, to be in relationship.
Then I came home and started feeling a bit queasy in my stomach. I don't know if it is a bug or something I ate but I'm hoping a good nights sleep will help me get past this thing. I am not a good sick person. I try and run fast from illness.
Lord, I loved having time with friends today. Really didn't like feeling ill this afternoon. Please take whatever is wrong in my stomach and help me get over it. I submit my body to you and ask you to purify the temple. I don't want to be held back, especially by being sick. Got too much to do. Amen
So taking a few minutes to rest. I kick off my boots and laid down in the grassy area by the path. It feels good to get horizontal. I'm looking overhead at the beautiful sky and day dreaming a bit. Helps to just let the mind go from time to time. Helps me concentrate on The Lord.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Day 156 - Voices
Tonight I was able to hear the most beautiful voices while attending a concert. The voices belonged to middle school children of which one was my grandson. They are preparing to have a concert in the spring for a national meeting of choir directors. I am so happy for him he is not only a great student and football player but has a great voice too. Life is wonderful with grandchildren.
Lord thank you for blessing me with many grandchildren who continue to amaze me with their hearts so pure. I am a lucky woman. Amen
Having completed this last climb and descent I am eager to rest along the path which leads to the waterfall I can hear in the distance. The beauty in nature and the sounds are like voices. Everything in harmony.
Lord thank you for blessing me with many grandchildren who continue to amaze me with their hearts so pure. I am a lucky woman. Amen
Having completed this last climb and descent I am eager to rest along the path which leads to the waterfall I can hear in the distance. The beauty in nature and the sounds are like voices. Everything in harmony.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Day 155 - In Love, totally
I just have to say, I love my husband. When I think of where both of us have come from in our lives including how we met it is amazing. Both of us have weathered some pretty harsh circumstances. I had a difficult childhood and my husband had a more pleasant one. We both met the Lord Jesus in the 70's and have been passionate believers. When my husband found himself single and raising four children it coincided with the same time I was single and raising four children. No one could have told me I would move to Texas, of all places, and meet a man who would change my life in ways only God could have orchestrated.
Now by no means has our marriage of twelve years been smooth and sweet. We have had our storms but at the heart of who we are is the common bond of faith, family and politics. Now I know you are thinking why bring politics into this? Because I am a firm believer that part of being "equally yoked" is having a house that is not divided. It would not do well for us to be on opposite sides. Only creates a source of tension and opens the door for trouble. No thanks! Don't want anymore trouble than what comes in the day to day living.
Also we were very insightful to check each other out before we got married from a financial and cleanliness standpoint. It wasn't enough to tell my soon to be spouse that I was financially sound. Credit checks speak better. He got to see how I keep house and what is important domestically for me. He saw how devoted I was to my family and understood where I placed these loved ones in my life.
Most of all where we stood biblically was most important. We needed a common belief in the Lord and how we would value each others prayer and bible study time including groups we interacted with as a basis for a good marriage.
But I am happy to say we have a great marriage. Always room for improvement but all the qualities are there to build on. We have a commitment to each other and that is not up for discussion.
Lord, thank you for bringing Ken into my life. He was exactly what this 'broken' soul needed at exactly the time I needed him. I know gifts when I get one and he is a gemstone I treasure very much. To me he is everything Christ wants for a husband to be. I am one lucky lady. Amen
So as I reach the base and look toward a long field ahead of me I take a few minutes to give thanks for foundations. The world God spoke into being is what I am enjoying on this hike. Everything builds on one kind of foundation or another. These mountains have solid bedrock as the foundation and they are standing the test of time.
When I look at marriages today and how people move through them instead of in them it grieves my heart. Both Ken and I know how devastating it can be when a spouse chooses to violate the foundation on which you are trying to build something wonderful. All the more reason we value each other more and more.
So my challenge right now is thinking how my story can help others. I guess you gotta want help first. But anyone seeking a real solution can give me a call. But before you call ask yourself these questions:
Are my values, morals, biblical and political stances aligned? Do I bring everything I can to this relationship holding nothing back? Do I truly value the other person enough to let them become all they can be? Am I clean, neat and tidy? Does my speech bring honor to anyone who hears me?
If you have issues in any of these areas the first step may be to get God's perspective. These are just a few things that have helped me. I hope they help you too.
Now by no means has our marriage of twelve years been smooth and sweet. We have had our storms but at the heart of who we are is the common bond of faith, family and politics. Now I know you are thinking why bring politics into this? Because I am a firm believer that part of being "equally yoked" is having a house that is not divided. It would not do well for us to be on opposite sides. Only creates a source of tension and opens the door for trouble. No thanks! Don't want anymore trouble than what comes in the day to day living.
Also we were very insightful to check each other out before we got married from a financial and cleanliness standpoint. It wasn't enough to tell my soon to be spouse that I was financially sound. Credit checks speak better. He got to see how I keep house and what is important domestically for me. He saw how devoted I was to my family and understood where I placed these loved ones in my life.
Most of all where we stood biblically was most important. We needed a common belief in the Lord and how we would value each others prayer and bible study time including groups we interacted with as a basis for a good marriage.
But I am happy to say we have a great marriage. Always room for improvement but all the qualities are there to build on. We have a commitment to each other and that is not up for discussion.
Lord, thank you for bringing Ken into my life. He was exactly what this 'broken' soul needed at exactly the time I needed him. I know gifts when I get one and he is a gemstone I treasure very much. To me he is everything Christ wants for a husband to be. I am one lucky lady. Amen
So as I reach the base and look toward a long field ahead of me I take a few minutes to give thanks for foundations. The world God spoke into being is what I am enjoying on this hike. Everything builds on one kind of foundation or another. These mountains have solid bedrock as the foundation and they are standing the test of time.
When I look at marriages today and how people move through them instead of in them it grieves my heart. Both Ken and I know how devastating it can be when a spouse chooses to violate the foundation on which you are trying to build something wonderful. All the more reason we value each other more and more.
So my challenge right now is thinking how my story can help others. I guess you gotta want help first. But anyone seeking a real solution can give me a call. But before you call ask yourself these questions:
Are my values, morals, biblical and political stances aligned? Do I bring everything I can to this relationship holding nothing back? Do I truly value the other person enough to let them become all they can be? Am I clean, neat and tidy? Does my speech bring honor to anyone who hears me?
If you have issues in any of these areas the first step may be to get God's perspective. These are just a few things that have helped me. I hope they help you too.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Day 154 - Power Of Jesus the Rabbi
Today I spent a few hours digging into scripture and learning more about Jesus and how he lived in his own period of time and in his region. It is very different to study how Jesus lived when it is very different from the western culture in which I live and have lived all my life. It is fascinating and very enlightening. I can honestly say there are a few things I am going to put on my list of scripture enhancing study. One is to dig further into Isaiah 61. The other to study the Old Testament more so the New testament references are easier to understand. Memorization will be key too.
Lord, I want to learn more about the culture in which you lived and really understand my Hebrew nature. I may not be Jewish but my learning of this people will help me know myself better. I am so thankful for scripture and what it tells of Your story and mine since I am grafted into Your family. Amen
So just a few more turns in the path and I will be a the base. I am grateful for the ability to climb and descend but even more grateful for the healing of The Lord in my life. Every chance to be with Him like Moses at the burning bush is anticipated and valued. Praise The Lord. I am your daughter and committed to You and Your passion for my life. I want to be like the Rabbi of all Rabbi's, Jesus!
Lord, I want to learn more about the culture in which you lived and really understand my Hebrew nature. I may not be Jewish but my learning of this people will help me know myself better. I am so thankful for scripture and what it tells of Your story and mine since I am grafted into Your family. Amen
So just a few more turns in the path and I will be a the base. I am grateful for the ability to climb and descend but even more grateful for the healing of The Lord in my life. Every chance to be with Him like Moses at the burning bush is anticipated and valued. Praise The Lord. I am your daughter and committed to You and Your passion for my life. I want to be like the Rabbi of all Rabbi's, Jesus!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Day 153 - Nothing like Christmas
There is nothing like Christmas holidays. I finally had time today to get the rest of the decorations out and around the house. It is decorated as much as is going to be. I'm ready now for company to come the 22nd. I love all this holiday means and the festive atmosphere. Looking at all the decorations on the tree reminds me of so many memories. I have ornaments from long ago and it is great joy to think on the specialness of them each time the tree goes up.
Lord, how special are family and memories we have. I am touched at everything I experience and what I can look back on. Especially with loved ones who have left us we are glad to have times when we can remember them. Watch over us, always Amen
So as I get closer to the base of this mountain ridge I am fondly thinking of the distance I have traveled and everything God has done for me so far. There is a lot to be said for remembering the past while excited about the future. I may be having my own Christmas here on the trail but my heart is with my family. Love can do that.
Lord, how special are family and memories we have. I am touched at everything I experience and what I can look back on. Especially with loved ones who have left us we are glad to have times when we can remember them. Watch over us, always Amen
So as I get closer to the base of this mountain ridge I am fondly thinking of the distance I have traveled and everything God has done for me so far. There is a lot to be said for remembering the past while excited about the future. I may be having my own Christmas here on the trail but my heart is with my family. Love can do that.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Day 152 - HB to me
Today may mark the rememberence of Pearl Harbor Day. But for the pst 58 years it has been my birthday. So today it is Happy Birthday to Me. That's all I have to say. I'm resting from my blog. Till tomorrow.......
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Day 151 - Christmas Family Letter
Today after uploading the next section of my curriculum I spent a few hours getting the Wicks Christmas Family Letter completed and in the mail. I try to have it done each Dec 1st but this year I have been a bit busy. It was nice to recount all we have done in the past year. Time sure flies by.
After dinner and a bit of reading time with Nicole before her bedtime I found a few minutes to get this installment ready for posting. I wish I could say I got some huge insight from the Lord today but not so. Today was a quiet day.
Lord, I am so thrilled to be getting things ready for this new business venture you have placed in my path. I am committed to do it with all the enthusiasm you have contained in me. I know it will fail without You and so I lean on Your wisdom for content, application, and most of all the people You have waiting to be in the class. Thanks is a simple word for a huge heartfelt joy. Amen
Traveling down the path is calm and peaceful. Not to much in the way of scenery here. I am just happy to be descending for awhile. I see off the path a very tiny pine tree but it is a perfect miniature of those seven foot tall trees I would remember in the corporate lots around the holidays. I can't help but wonder what it would look like all decorated. I take time to pause and gather a few things. I pick a few berries and gather some flowers from the ridge to my left. I bent down and started arranging them on the branches. It looks too cute. When I was done I stepped back and took a picture. All I can say is the memories from this journey are going to make for an interesting wall arrangement.
After dinner and a bit of reading time with Nicole before her bedtime I found a few minutes to get this installment ready for posting. I wish I could say I got some huge insight from the Lord today but not so. Today was a quiet day.
Lord, I am so thrilled to be getting things ready for this new business venture you have placed in my path. I am committed to do it with all the enthusiasm you have contained in me. I know it will fail without You and so I lean on Your wisdom for content, application, and most of all the people You have waiting to be in the class. Thanks is a simple word for a huge heartfelt joy. Amen
Traveling down the path is calm and peaceful. Not to much in the way of scenery here. I am just happy to be descending for awhile. I see off the path a very tiny pine tree but it is a perfect miniature of those seven foot tall trees I would remember in the corporate lots around the holidays. I can't help but wonder what it would look like all decorated. I take time to pause and gather a few things. I pick a few berries and gather some flowers from the ridge to my left. I bent down and started arranging them on the branches. It looks too cute. When I was done I stepped back and took a picture. All I can say is the memories from this journey are going to make for an interesting wall arrangement.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Day 150 - Write, write, write
Today I was busy getting the curriculum for my new job written. It was thrilling to be writing, using my love of writing, to make the content for this new Dental Business Office Manager course. I was happy to be getting everything on paper. It will be very exciting to see students enrolling to attend. I am set to start with the first class in January. A lot to do in a short amount of time.
One thing about writing is sitting for long periods of time. I had to get up frequently to keep my lower extremities from getting numb. Having a quiet environment to be able to concentrate on my writing is the best. I'm happy and content. I am eager to use all of the last thirty years of experience to help others.
Lord, it is nice how You conveniently align our paths to be able to bring our lives and experiences to a culminating point. I have longed to help others and now I feel professionally qualified to do so. If I can have one person in each of my classes which resembles me of thirty years ago it would warm my heart in ways I can't even imagine. Lord bring them to me, the ones I can help. Amen
So along the path I keep the camera handy for shots to chronicle my journey. I am having the time of my life and so thankful God is taking me on this journey with Him. I don't know what is around the next curve or over the next rise but I know who is with me and nothing will deter my progress.
One thing about writing is sitting for long periods of time. I had to get up frequently to keep my lower extremities from getting numb. Having a quiet environment to be able to concentrate on my writing is the best. I'm happy and content. I am eager to use all of the last thirty years of experience to help others.
Lord, it is nice how You conveniently align our paths to be able to bring our lives and experiences to a culminating point. I have longed to help others and now I feel professionally qualified to do so. If I can have one person in each of my classes which resembles me of thirty years ago it would warm my heart in ways I can't even imagine. Lord bring them to me, the ones I can help. Amen
So along the path I keep the camera handy for shots to chronicle my journey. I am having the time of my life and so thankful God is taking me on this journey with Him. I don't know what is around the next curve or over the next rise but I know who is with me and nothing will deter my progress.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Day 149 - Moving at a normal pace
Today I took Nicole to her play, then to get lunch and on to school. I then went to meet for a business lunch and then home to write and work in my office. This might seem like a hectic busy day but for me NOT. It was actually relaxing. Now I was busy. There was no hurry, hurry, scurry, fast, faster like I have experienced in my months of employment previously. For once I felt calm and got so much done.
It also helps because I start every morning with two things before I even put my feet to the floor. In place of my mind thoughts of the days activities I have replaced those with 1) the Lord's Prayer reworded to be very personal and 2) giving God control of my day and all it will entail. I can say it is a pleasing way to wake up and get going. There is a relaxation and peace knowing I have filled my spiritual tank to the max.
Lord, it was a great day. I love it because I get so much done and feel productive. I don't have the drained feeling. I'm not yawning mid afternoon. I am energized and I know it is the Spirit, alive in me and on the job. Praise You for giving us all such a great comforter. Amen
Moving further down the trail head I notice something out of place. It is a camera lying off the path but partially covered. For a moment it took my breath away. Why? Because it looked like the one my father used to carry when I was a child. It was just a camera but some painful memories flooded my mind. My childhood consisted of more pictures than you can imagine, my father the amatuer photographer. Home was a series of cruel pictures streaming like a movie reel. It was very difficult.
Mom worked and Dad worked two jobs. Until they divorced in my first year of high school the fighting between them was often barely able to be tolerated. My dad was a perfectionist and strict, very strict. I was the recipient of many lashings which in todays culture would constitute jail. I can remember going to third grade in jeans to hide the welts on my legs. The belt beating was rendered for failure to keep my two year old brother from falling down on his head. We were attending a family reunion and all the adults were busy and the children cousins were playing. My instructions were to watch him. I only turned my back for a second. Bam. Screams. Off the porch he tumbled and heavy footsteps coming in answer to his screams meant the worst for me. In front of all my cousins I was layed bare bottomed while the belt cracked across my legs and glutes. My crying only made things worse.
I gazed at the camera and then went over and picked it up. I was astounded to see it fully operational. Film loaded and partially used. Obviously lost by a fellow hiker. I decided to stick it in my backpack. I could develop the photos at home and maybe find the owner by publicly displaying a photo or two.
After tucking the camera in my pack I paused. The memories from my childhood needed addressing. I had carried the scars on my heart for way too long. I got on my knees and prayed. I was in no hurry right now and feeling totally relaxed. This was going to be time alone with my Heavenly Father and His touch was all it would take to heal a 'broken' wounding done by my earthly father.
I spoke like every morning. A prayer of total control relinquishment. "Jesus, I give you the pain the memories and the anger associated with this day when I was nine years old. I ask you to help me forgive my father. I want nothing to do with holding this bad memory any longer."
It didn't take long for an answer to come to my heart. "My daughter I was there that day. I couldn't stop his actions toward you but I could hold you close to me. I took everyone of your tears. I keep them in a special place. A place where everyone who is wounded, grieved, lonely, aching has deposited tears. It is these tears collectively which will wash over your heart taking the pain away. Like driftwood on a wild river the pain will soon be gone."
All it takes is a word from The Lord to heal sometimes. In this case my healing came from reconstituted tears. Tears today added to those from fourty-eight years started the river flowing. That river left love in it's wake. As the current subsided a new calm called joy entered. I opened my backpack and removed the camera. I stepped back, focused and then set the shutter speed. In a click of the trigger I exposed a shot of the place where one of my biggest childhood nightmares was restored. I already have a plan for this picture. I'm going to mount it in a beautiful driftwood frame. I'm going to display it proudly and as a testimony for all who see it. Love is perfect and the end result is peace.
It also helps because I start every morning with two things before I even put my feet to the floor. In place of my mind thoughts of the days activities I have replaced those with 1) the Lord's Prayer reworded to be very personal and 2) giving God control of my day and all it will entail. I can say it is a pleasing way to wake up and get going. There is a relaxation and peace knowing I have filled my spiritual tank to the max.
Lord, it was a great day. I love it because I get so much done and feel productive. I don't have the drained feeling. I'm not yawning mid afternoon. I am energized and I know it is the Spirit, alive in me and on the job. Praise You for giving us all such a great comforter. Amen
Moving further down the trail head I notice something out of place. It is a camera lying off the path but partially covered. For a moment it took my breath away. Why? Because it looked like the one my father used to carry when I was a child. It was just a camera but some painful memories flooded my mind. My childhood consisted of more pictures than you can imagine, my father the amatuer photographer. Home was a series of cruel pictures streaming like a movie reel. It was very difficult.
Mom worked and Dad worked two jobs. Until they divorced in my first year of high school the fighting between them was often barely able to be tolerated. My dad was a perfectionist and strict, very strict. I was the recipient of many lashings which in todays culture would constitute jail. I can remember going to third grade in jeans to hide the welts on my legs. The belt beating was rendered for failure to keep my two year old brother from falling down on his head. We were attending a family reunion and all the adults were busy and the children cousins were playing. My instructions were to watch him. I only turned my back for a second. Bam. Screams. Off the porch he tumbled and heavy footsteps coming in answer to his screams meant the worst for me. In front of all my cousins I was layed bare bottomed while the belt cracked across my legs and glutes. My crying only made things worse.
I gazed at the camera and then went over and picked it up. I was astounded to see it fully operational. Film loaded and partially used. Obviously lost by a fellow hiker. I decided to stick it in my backpack. I could develop the photos at home and maybe find the owner by publicly displaying a photo or two.
After tucking the camera in my pack I paused. The memories from my childhood needed addressing. I had carried the scars on my heart for way too long. I got on my knees and prayed. I was in no hurry right now and feeling totally relaxed. This was going to be time alone with my Heavenly Father and His touch was all it would take to heal a 'broken' wounding done by my earthly father.
I spoke like every morning. A prayer of total control relinquishment. "Jesus, I give you the pain the memories and the anger associated with this day when I was nine years old. I ask you to help me forgive my father. I want nothing to do with holding this bad memory any longer."
It didn't take long for an answer to come to my heart. "My daughter I was there that day. I couldn't stop his actions toward you but I could hold you close to me. I took everyone of your tears. I keep them in a special place. A place where everyone who is wounded, grieved, lonely, aching has deposited tears. It is these tears collectively which will wash over your heart taking the pain away. Like driftwood on a wild river the pain will soon be gone."
All it takes is a word from The Lord to heal sometimes. In this case my healing came from reconstituted tears. Tears today added to those from fourty-eight years started the river flowing. That river left love in it's wake. As the current subsided a new calm called joy entered. I opened my backpack and removed the camera. I stepped back, focused and then set the shutter speed. In a click of the trigger I exposed a shot of the place where one of my biggest childhood nightmares was restored. I already have a plan for this picture. I'm going to mount it in a beautiful driftwood frame. I'm going to display it proudly and as a testimony for all who see it. Love is perfect and the end result is peace.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Day 148 - Test anxiety
Today I had to spend the majority of my time taking a continuing education course. The thing I hate about taking classes is the post test. I am a horrible test taker. So I take notes like furry. Then when I start the test I get a horrible feeling every time I miss one. I think dental hygiene school ruined me. Anyway I survived. A huge sigh of relief when it was over.
Lord, thank you for allowing me the brain power to learn and retain information for test purposes. I am so happy you provide skills so we can obtain knowledge. The brain is a powerful thing. I don't take it for granted. Amen
So in the journey down the mountain I try and recall everything which has happened to date. Somethings come back real fast and others seem to be lost. I am so glad for my journaling along the way. It will help with recall when the whole experience is over. Onward I go seeking another wonderful experience.
Lord, thank you for allowing me the brain power to learn and retain information for test purposes. I am so happy you provide skills so we can obtain knowledge. The brain is a powerful thing. I don't take it for granted. Amen
So in the journey down the mountain I try and recall everything which has happened to date. Somethings come back real fast and others seem to be lost. I am so glad for my journaling along the way. It will help with recall when the whole experience is over. Onward I go seeking another wonderful experience.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Day 147 - Sabbath Rest
Church is very refreshing for me. Every Sunday I get fed in ways I didn't think I could. Today was no exception. Pastor Morris was able to give a word about honoring the Sabbath. I loved it. Oh so true. The point it is a commandment, not a suggestion is also huge. It has a blessing associated and a cursing if it is not kept.
For me the application is to put this principle into effect as I begin my new job. I need and am expecting the favor of The Lord on my new job. Keeping the Lord's command in regard to resting one day out of seven is not even up for debate. It will be honored.
Lord, I submit to you my new business endeavor and ask for your blessing, favor and increase. I will honor the Sabbath by resting one day out of seven. Thank you for giving us principles to live by which are for our good. I am so happy to be your child. Amen
So as I go further down the path I see a couple of birds walking ahead of me on the path. Both are looking for anything resembling food. I could have scurried along and disturbed them. This was one of those things I felt The Lord was providing for me to see. Would I hurry past and thus have learned nothing in my time with Him? But I did learn. I learned to slow down and be observant. I learned to rest and take in the beauty around me.
So I moved slightly to my right and sat on a stump near the path. I reached into my backpack and removed a sandwich bag with granola crumbs from my morning snack. Very carefully I placed the crumbs in front of my feet and then sat motionless. Slowly the birds found their way over and beg to peck at a furious pace. Then a very interesting thing happened. The birds climb onto my boot tips to get a better vantage point on the newly acquired snack. This was a first and I am sure the only time I will have two birds perched on my feet. What I didn't have was a camera handy to capture the special moment. This would have to be one I would file into my memory tank.
Immediately I thanked The Lord from my heart. I was so happy to be one with nature, resting in the presence of others in God's creation. It was like meeting kindred family. Another created being, them small, me big.
Soon the birds had their fill and were flying off. I was happy to have given them a morsel of food and to also have had more time to watch another created being. After a brief moment soaking in the event I got up and stepped back to the path. After walking a few feet I turned to look back and mentally seal the memory of this place. What do I see but two squirrels cleaning up the left overs. How funny. They were probably watching and waiting for their turn. I watched as they frolicked around and then scampered off. It was a very peaceful day.
For me the application is to put this principle into effect as I begin my new job. I need and am expecting the favor of The Lord on my new job. Keeping the Lord's command in regard to resting one day out of seven is not even up for debate. It will be honored.
Lord, I submit to you my new business endeavor and ask for your blessing, favor and increase. I will honor the Sabbath by resting one day out of seven. Thank you for giving us principles to live by which are for our good. I am so happy to be your child. Amen
So as I go further down the path I see a couple of birds walking ahead of me on the path. Both are looking for anything resembling food. I could have scurried along and disturbed them. This was one of those things I felt The Lord was providing for me to see. Would I hurry past and thus have learned nothing in my time with Him? But I did learn. I learned to slow down and be observant. I learned to rest and take in the beauty around me.
So I moved slightly to my right and sat on a stump near the path. I reached into my backpack and removed a sandwich bag with granola crumbs from my morning snack. Very carefully I placed the crumbs in front of my feet and then sat motionless. Slowly the birds found their way over and beg to peck at a furious pace. Then a very interesting thing happened. The birds climb onto my boot tips to get a better vantage point on the newly acquired snack. This was a first and I am sure the only time I will have two birds perched on my feet. What I didn't have was a camera handy to capture the special moment. This would have to be one I would file into my memory tank.
Immediately I thanked The Lord from my heart. I was so happy to be one with nature, resting in the presence of others in God's creation. It was like meeting kindred family. Another created being, them small, me big.
Soon the birds had their fill and were flying off. I was happy to have given them a morsel of food and to also have had more time to watch another created being. After a brief moment soaking in the event I got up and stepped back to the path. After walking a few feet I turned to look back and mentally seal the memory of this place. What do I see but two squirrels cleaning up the left overs. How funny. They were probably watching and waiting for their turn. I watched as they frolicked around and then scampered off. It was a very peaceful day.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Day 146 - Do Overs
Have you ever had a time in your life when you wished to do something over? Wether it was a mistake or a missed opportunity, you kinda want to go back and get another run at it. Olympic athletes feel this on many occasions. They can train and train and train for years and then make a mental or physical error and wish for a do over.
Isn't it grand that God gives us a do over every day. We have His grace to begin again where we have made a mistake. He allows us to learn and grow. To me it is the best thing ever. I know He loves me no matter what. In Him I'm being perfected. Being perfected is a daily experience.
Lord, thank you for the grace to start over when we miss it, blunder our way along, run when we should have walked. Your grace is without limit and a commodity I value. Amen
So as I am heading down the mountain path I hear God speaking to me in my inner man. He is saying, "Never forsake my power that lives in your being. It is because of my Spirit, alive in you, for which the glory of Christ speaks to your heart."
I am in awe. There is a power in my inner being which knows, in an intimate sense, the love of God. That love is going to help propel me along on this new journey. When I encounter times of testing, trial, temptation to doubt, it will be the fire of Ezekiel which will ignite the flame of Holy Spirit to fill my heart and soul with the fullness of God.
I want to ride this vapor trail of God all the way down this mountain. I want to sense Him every moment. I want to be still, relaxed, holding nothing back and know He is God. The only way is to breathe Him in everyday. What joy!
Isn't it grand that God gives us a do over every day. We have His grace to begin again where we have made a mistake. He allows us to learn and grow. To me it is the best thing ever. I know He loves me no matter what. In Him I'm being perfected. Being perfected is a daily experience.
Lord, thank you for the grace to start over when we miss it, blunder our way along, run when we should have walked. Your grace is without limit and a commodity I value. Amen
So as I am heading down the mountain path I hear God speaking to me in my inner man. He is saying, "Never forsake my power that lives in your being. It is because of my Spirit, alive in you, for which the glory of Christ speaks to your heart."
I am in awe. There is a power in my inner being which knows, in an intimate sense, the love of God. That love is going to help propel me along on this new journey. When I encounter times of testing, trial, temptation to doubt, it will be the fire of Ezekiel which will ignite the flame of Holy Spirit to fill my heart and soul with the fullness of God.
I want to ride this vapor trail of God all the way down this mountain. I want to sense Him every moment. I want to be still, relaxed, holding nothing back and know He is God. The only way is to breathe Him in everyday. What joy!
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