Day 176 - Still Sick

Still sick and very miserable........

Day 175 - Too sick

No post today.  I've been fighting a head cold which finally came on full force.  I'm on a break till my head clears.

Day 174 - Cold cold

Today was sunny but cold.  Time for the Armed Forces Bowl and going with my new boss.  We lasted till after halftime and then headed for warmth and a warm beverage.  I wish I could say I woke up feeling great but this congestion and cold are still lingering.  I don't make a good sick person.

My children headed to AZ today.  Sure hated to see them go.  I miss having all my kids close by.

Lord, watch over all my family living away from me.  I miss them so much.  Station angels to guard them. Amen

So hiking along I am taking in all of nature in this place.  There is foliage so plentiful.  The going maybe slower because  want to savor it all.

Day 173 - Blah

Today has been a dreary day.  Misty, foggy in the morning with drizzle.  A great day to get things done around the house.  By afternoon it is starting to warm and the sun peeking out.  Went out for an errand and then home again.  More work and to get some things ready for a holiday party this evening.

My children were here with the grand kids and they have gone shopping.  Soon the Waco crowd will head home and tomorrow the Phoenix ones head west.  It has been nice having them even though everyone was sick most of the time.  I am not feeling my usual self and a bit draggy.

Thinking today about New Years which is right around the corner.  I'm not a party animal and rather enjoy being in the house and not out with the crazy people who drink and drive.  I very much prefer the confines of my couch.

I think today was one of those days I felt my age.  I wish I didn't because I am an energetic person for the most part.  But today, since I did not sleep too well last night, I am just going through the motions.

Lord, please help me to feel better.  I want to enjoy the end of 2012 and look forward to all You have for me in the New Year.  I want to feel excited and anticipatory at all the goodness coming.  Amen

So after a momentary reflection about heaven and what it will be like I find it time to continue my trek.  This particular path is much more scenic than the last two.  I am enjoying finding real cool treasures and their significance for me as I move through 'broken' events of life.  Praise You Lord for nature and its place in our lives.

Day 172 - Young life gone

You just never know what news can arise in a moments notice.  I was sweeping my floor today when I got a call from my cousin in Kansas.  She was calling to say her younger sister's son Devan had been killed in an auto accident.

My heart immediately sank and my brain became flooded with images, peoples faces, sounds and statements.  Rushing in were the similarities of this event and one of my own some sixteen years ago.

Devan was gone, 22 years old. (Paul was 21) Devan was in the Marines (Paul the Navy) and had been in a few years after briefly attending Hutchison Community College (Paul in a few years after briefly attending Johnson County Community College)  Devan is the oldest child and first born son for my cousin Kim (Paul was my oldest and first born son).  Devan died as a passenger in a car driven by another (Paul as well)  Both boys were organ donors.

I know the intense pain my cousin Kim is feeling and the numbness in her soul at such a horrific and tragic  loss.  The suddeness of it means no closure, no last good byes.  There are those things you wish you'd have said if you had only known.  All the future held for these young lives now gone in an instant.

Lord, I know the very life we live is not our own.  I know everything we experience is filtered through your hands and will ultimately work for good.  But in this moment of the intense pain it is hard to find You.  We have questions and know answers will not come.  Our only peace comes in being thankful for the life You gave us to birth, raise, love, and hold for whatever brief and fleeting moment.  Be with Kim and her family as they mourn and help the family to heal with hope.  Amen

So as I walk the path, thinking of where my lady I saw earlier could have gone, I am struck by an overwhelming since of loss.  She released her precious family to You and I have as well.  I know You have plans and purposes for each of us.  This journey for me is about not only healing 'broken' areas but finding purpose for all life brings.  I'm beginning to wonder if that lady existed.  Was she an angel?

I glanced up an could imagine the loved ones who are in heaven before us.  Just like you are watching over those of us alive in this world You are also speaking into the lives of those who are with You.  Then one grand and glorious day we will all be together and spend eternity in worshipful joy.

Day 171 - Paul

Today is always a hard day for me.  It is about 9:30pm and I remember thirty-eight years ago tonight.  I was delivering my first child, a boy, a big boy 9lbs. 11ozs.  It was a difficult birth but that was replaced with joy when I saw this baby.  He was my son.  I named him Paul.

I have often reflected what Abraham must have felt like when God asked him to sacrifice Isaac.  Luckily he didn't have to follow through but he was willing. What did Mary feel when she watched her son, Jesus, carry a cross to a hill called Calvary where he would be a sacrifice?  Her pain had to be tremendous.

I have often felt this since my son died.  I know the grief of losing a child you have loved, raised and one you had such hopes and dreams for in their future.

Each year I remember his birthday and his death date.  I strive to make his life have meaning and my experience also for others in my shoes.

Lord, it was a joy to celebrate your birthday yesterday.  Birthdays are so festive, until......
Even though the one I remember today is shadowed in sorrow I give you thanks for giving Paul to me for the years I did have him.  I will never forget the wonderful things he brought to my life and the memories we shared.  Amen

........So as I was about to run and save this woman from death I saw a fascinating thing happen.  She took all the pictures in her hands and one by one tucked them into a tube.  She took the tube and gently rolled it down the mountain.  She then dropped to her knees and prayed, "Father I am your daughter and today I kneel here to die to myself.  I am nothing without you and I am everything with you.  I love my children and grandchildren but realize I am a huge stumbling block of interference if I hold onto to them.  So as an act of release I have set them free.  I ask for you to gather them unto yourself.  Watch over them, guide them, give them wisdom and show them all how to love like You.  For everything I was to them which they loved may it burn bright and for everything I was which brought pain or despair may You erase from their hearts.  I ask you to kill in me and in them any evil or wicked way which stands to ruin their future.  Amen"

She then stood up and sang "Think of me everyday, hold tight to what I say and I'll be close to you even from far away.  Know that where ever you are it is never to far if you think of me I'll be with you."

I reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes.  When I was able to focus I looked and she was gone.  Where could she have gone?  I didn't hear her walk away.  I reached in my pack for a tissue.  I had felt deeply compassionate for this woman.

I decided to journey on and if I met her on the path I would introduce myself.  She would make a very special friend cause she was so much like me.

Day 170 - Happy Birthday Jesus

The big day arrived.  I wish I could say it started with thrills and excitement.  For the kids, yes but the adults not so much.  We had barely gone to bed and the reindeer hoofs had hardly cleared the roof when one child awoke and asked if it was time to get up.  This constant "it is time yet" kept up from 1:30 to 4am when the other chidren were awoke and the festivites could not longer be held off.  It took several cups of coffee to get the adults bleary eyes open enough to focus on the gifts and better yet the camera lens for capturing their glee.

All in all it was a good morning and everyone got a special something and then some.  By 5:30am it was time to head back to bed for some and move into breakfast mode for others.  A quick check of the weather showed sleet and snow headed our way so we quickly packed up the car and headed for home.  Wanted to be home before the roads got bad.

Lord, celebrating your birth is indeed a time of uncontainable joy.  Knowing what this means in our life is without words, exciting.  Thanks is simply not enough but offering my life for You to rule over is the least I can do.  Amen

So after getting back on the trail I walked a bit further and listened.  I did hear it, but where was it coming from.  I could see a small section of trees to the right and down a small hill.  I walked toward the crying.  As I approached I could see a lady, her back toward me.  She sat cross-legged.  In front of her pictures lay.  I decided to not intrude, keeping a safe distance.  Her crys turned audible as she prayed.  I bowed me head in reverance and to be an agreeing partner to her petitions.

"Oh Jesus I give my family to You.  I have done the best I could but it seems it was not adequate.  My children don't respect me, are easily annoyed, frustrated and angered at things I really didn't think was upsetting.  I suppose things could have been done differently but I felt it is too late to correct.  Now I pray for the children and their children.  May God bless them.  May another generation never feel the torment of what I feel.  May it die here with me."

I was horrified.  I feared she was about to take her life.  I was trying to think how I would intercede and prevent this tragedy.  Then before I could move in her direction I saw the most fascinating thing. She collected the pictures and......

To be completed tomorrow.

Day 169 - Here comes Santa Claus

Well tonight is the eve of Christmas.  To the small children it is a night to go to bed early because the jolly fat man comes bearing gifts.  I know it is tradition to hype up Santa but this year will mark an end of that for me.

My adopted daughter is nine and this will be the last year she still believes, or has yet to be told Santa's true identity.  Although it is sad, the passing of a Ho-Ho-Ho, I'm looking forward to getting a new tradition started.  I am going to start something more in line with the meaning of Christmas.  It will be all about Jesus.

Lord, I am so thankful for this time of year.  Celebrating the birth of Jesus is very special.  It reminds me of the tremendous plan you had for mankind from the start to redeem us for eternity.  The joy we anticipate tomorrow, the actual birthdate of Jesus our Immanuel.  Amen

So stepping my way up the path I have to kick aside a lot of brush and notice not far away something else.  I walk off the path and come to a nest of hay tucked next to a metal piece of awning.  It clearly is residue from a structure that used to be erected on this site.  It made me pause.  I wonder what it would be like to come upon the stable where the baby Jesus was first laid to sleep.  I think back to what it must have been like out in the cold and trying to find something to make a baby bed out of.  I reached and grabbed a hand ful of hay.  I am going to take this home and use in a display of my treasures on this journey.

Day 168 - Fathers Contribution

Todays message at church I listened to on my iPad.  I loved the Christmas music.  In the sermon Pastor Morris made a statement which I found insightful.  "The sins (iniquities) of the father are visited on the children and for generations.  Interesting it did not say the sins of the mother.  This is worth noting because the same is true for the opposite.  The blessings of the father are visited on the children.

Lord, I am very grateful for your provision of blessing we can tap into by owning our position as your child.  I yearn for your blessings in my life.  I also submit my earthly fathers sin and ask for the blood of  Christ to cover any issues which would affect me.  Amen

So as I take time to finish putting colored paper decorations on this tiny tree I am reminding myself how wonderful the birth of Christ is for the believer.  His coming is huge for the unbeliever also, yet they don't know it and haven't appropriated it in their life.  It will be a great climb today as I begin up this path.

The foliage here is much more dense and it feels more like a rain forest.  I am so eager to see what awaits.  But like anything, I can't experience it till I start moving.  So I get my backpack in place and set off.

Day 167 - Ready for Santa

Well today was a day to get things together and head south to my daughter's house for the Christmas.  My other daughter was arriving from Arizona to spend a week.  It is sure to be a good few days.  The only 'broken' thing about this year's gathering is my son in MN is absent.  When your family is spread out as far as mine it is very difficult getting them all together for any event.  Maybe next year.

Lord, please help the family to have an enjoyable few days together.  May the children be blessed with the joy and happiness of the season.  I love the beauty in their eyes as they are anticipating Christmas.  Amen

So getting ready to head up the trail I pause as my eye catches sight of a tiny tree, a tiny Christmas Tree.  I decided to take a few things in my bag and form a few colorful decorations.  Once done it was time to move on.

Day 166 - Who are you on the Trip?

Today I had an appointment with my massage therapist because I had been having some neck pain.  After getting my writing done I was in need of a release of some very tired muscles.  While I was there my therapist gave me her take on life.  It was good so I asked if I could borrow and blog about it.  She said, "Sure."  So I offer the following for you to mull over.

When you go on a long road trip there are many different people along on the trip with us.  There is the three year old who is strapped in a car seat, anticipates arrival but complacent knowing the driver will get him/her there.  Then there is the adolesent who is constantly asking, "Are we there yet?"  Then there is the nagging wife who keeps checking the map and argueing about the directions the driver has chosen.  Believe it or not everyone arrives at the appointed destination but some are more flazzled in the process.

So who are you?  Are you the child, going along and being quiet for most of the trip.  Are you the adolesent who is impatient and wants it over with.  Are you the nagging wife?  Not content with the road traveled and looking to divert the course at any time.

Lord, I am more than happy these days to be the three year old and let you navigate me the way you choose.  I am totally in Your hands.  I can say it is peceful and restng.  Amen

So as I am poking along I prayed.  I asked God which way I go from here.  I know whatever path he selects the climb will be full of neat expereinces He intended for me.  I've resigned myself to not be impatient or bossy along the way.

Day 165 - Dizzy

It is no fun to start your day on the dizzy side.  I was a bit shaky and felt weird this morning for about 2 hours.  Gradually over the course of the day I got to feeling better.  I think I am fighting getting a cold because my nose was a bit runny.

Enough about that, it was the day I finally got my information completed for the new class starting in January.  That was a huge weight off of me.  I have  a few errands tomorrow and then I will be ready for the holidays.

Lord, please help me to be in peak shape this next week to visit with family.  I want to enjoy myself and not feel under the weather.  I submit my body to You for healing and thank you it is done!  Amen

So going a bit further I decide to take a leisurely stroll today.  I need a day when I am moving but watching the pace.  It is all good.  I'm in no hurry.

Day 164 - One more Picture for the Road

So today was double fun at the children's theatre.  Nicole finished her run as Buck the Bunny in "A Snow White Christmas."  She is sad it is over but looking forward to more acting classes in January and then trying out for other productions in 2013.

She is so talented.  Makes me happy to see her enjoying using the talents God placed in her before she was born.  I love to sing and together we are pretty good.  I have some neat things planned for 2013 involving her and me.

Lots of errands we ran and then home.  A good day, got lots done and now counting down till Christmas.  I have two more gifts to buy and then I'm ready for the Big day.  Praying for family traveling.  Going to be great.

Lord, I am so thrilled for all the blessings I get to enjoy.  I'm happy the most when I see young people growing in God given talents.  It is warming.  Amen

So after swinging on the bridge I thought it time to get up and continue on.  I made my way across and then decided to look back from where God has brought me so far.  The beauty behind me is warming but not near as much as the majesty in front of me.  I can see a landscape with every sort of vegetation and rugged peaks jutting into the clouds.

This isn't going to be easy but it is going to be rewarding.  I know.  I'm anticipating what is to come but want to do something first.  I get my camera out and snap a picture of the bridge.  Nothing can compare to what this means to me.  It is going to make a nice addition to the mural of goodies when I get home.

Day 163 - This Girl

Today I began my day with prayer before rising and then mid morning the Prayer of Jabez.  For those who are unfamiliar with this prayer, I was asking God for His favor in regards to the expanding of territory for my upcoming business in January.  It is so thrilling to be moving in something you love and God has blessed you with but it can also be scary as I have blogged before.

Today I felt especially positive and encouraged with God, His power to help me, and showing me the way.  I have mentioned many times to Him in my prayers...."I will fail miserably without You!"

So I am nearing completion of the curriculum I am writing and it has been a very humbling task.  It has allowed me to reflect on my entire career in dentistry.  I have seen myself in many phases as I write.

I remember the young girl who was struggling to make a way with four children under five years old.  Without skills to speak of and no husband to support her.  Dentistry was the way to provide for her family.  In the beginning it did little more than to pay for day care but it was a re-entry into the work world.

Then there was the young girl who dared to think she could publish a paper in a major dental journal and went another step and challenged a dental certification board to obtain credentials. All of this with no formal education or training.  Not to mention writing an on-the-job training program for the Veterans Administration so she could be compensated.

Then there was the girl who thought teaching others was a step worthy of her skills.  Wow, what students can teach the teacher and how they tried to mimic the ethics she poured into them.  Never a more rewarding experience for someone who refused to be told she simply didn't have the required academic standing.

Moving further into the curriculum I saw the girl who left the comfort of the dental business office to attend hygiene school, struggling to learn because most of the students were years younger and didn't have the family responsibilities she faced.

Then there was the girl who took on the US Army and championed a cause all the way to the JAG core in Washington.  Winning a victory for delegation of duties that have touched the lives of many who don't even know her.  Then this girl answers the call of her peers to testify as an expert witness for the Texas Legislature.  Rising to address an issue she knows very well.

I cried a bit as I watched this girl move from one dental job to another until she was told her clinical days were over due to impairment and needed surgery.  So this girl re-invented herself in the profession she loves and has taken on being a consultant, inventor, insurance liaison and  technology trainer just to name a few.  She has returned to her clinical and education arena now with the next step in her journey.  Wow, where is this girl going next?

Lord, I am in awe of this girl.  She is me. At times I don't recognize her but I remember her struggles, painful challenges, and most of all the passion that has been alive for over thirty years. I don't want to loose sight of what You have done in her.  I don't want to limit Your ever increasing love and open doors ahead of her.  I want to walk in all you have for her.  Amen

So as I stand looking at this crevice and the immediate need to find a way over I am not shaken.  I have stood and faced the giants before and, with God, overcome them all.  This is a physical situation for which there is an answer.  I just have to seek it out.  I watched as the clouds drifted by allowing for the sun to shine brighter in one particular area.  I looked and sure enough, just hidden out of sight was a bridge.  What was at first glance not seen became very clear.

I walked over to the edge and took hold of the ropes leading me across.  It may have been a very shaky suspension bridge but it was a way to the other side.  With each step I praised the Lord.  I knew there was much more ahead of me on this journey.  The sway of the bridge did not concern me because it was as if Christ was rocking the girl who never played like a child oughta play.  Too much responsibility as a very young girl stole innocent playful experiences from her.  But it did give her grit, determination, motivation.

So I stopped mid crossing and sat dangling my legs over the edge.  I closed my eyes and pretended I was on a huge swing set.  Behind me the Lord and in front of me His promises.  He had kept this girl all of her life and He isn't done yet.

Alone in this moment I sang a song, "Jesus loves me."  Simple message and powerful bold proclamation.   He does!  It doesn't get any richer than to know who loves you.  And...Always Will.

Day 162 - Oops

Been writing so much for my curriculum I fell asleep and then woke up thinking about my blog.  I had not even written anything yesterday.  Ooops....

More tonight, I promise.  Tis the season, busy, busy BUSY

Day 161 - The Devil made me do it

I always love Sunday because I get some wonderful revelation from the message. Today was no exception.  I heard Pastor Evans from Trinity Fellowship speak on the Devil and his mission in our lives.

Now the message wasn't new to me.  I know the enemy seeks to kill, steal and destroy but what I did take away from the message was a special three words.....

matches emotional disposition

The enemy comes in many forms and his mission that is most cunning are those three words. In other words if he can get you to agree with your emotional standing he has made a way in.  So if you are upset he substantiates that response and validates your feelings.  Once he can get you agreeing with any feelings he has accomplished his mission.  He can then get you sidetracked from the Word and what Christ has to say about the situation.

Lord, it is great to have Your Word as the guide for us.  It is what we have to take our stand on.  We need to constantly be looking to it and to hearing from You.  We can get in much trouble listening to our feelings.  Help us as we look to You alone.  Amen

I am eager to get going and so as I take a drink of water I am mentally checking my surroundings for clues as to where I should go.  I see a small animal running across the path to the left and then stops and disappears.  I am intrigued so I head over to see where he has gone.  I notice a deep crevice in the dirt and I strain but can't see the bottom.  There is no way to cross this thing.  I look right and left for an end but see none.  I suddenly realize I am trapped on an area of space with no way over to the other side.  Going back is not an option either for many reasons.  In my anxiousness I hear a voice telling me how stuck I am and how terrifying it is going to be alone and supplies running low.

Before I knew it I had allowed the enemy to "match my emotional disposition" and I was exhibiting more fear than faith.  I immediately took captive those thoughts and dropped to pray.  There was no way I was letting the enemy into my spirit.  I'll get what I need from The Lord and then I will attack this problem head on.

Day 160 - Awakening

So today was a busy day getting activities wrapped up for Nicole, shopping, a few hours of work and then a funeral followed by dinner out and theatre.  Home now for some recorded basketball before hitting the hay, whew!

The thing I realized was no matter what activities you have to do in a day it helps to be organized to keep from being stressed.  I have had a bit of tension arise the last couple of days and need a massage, badly.

Lord, thank you for helping to remind us You are the one who carries our stressful loads and keeps us peaceful.  I am so happy to roll cares to You.  I am in love with your intense attention you give to me when I need it most.  Amen

So as I lay and get ready to rise from this peaceful spot I tuck the tragedy away which happened yesterday and have a new awakening from where I will now  operate.  I am ready to move with The Lord into ALL things He has for me.  I will carry His love and then move as He directs.

I look down at my hands.  I take them and turn my palms upward.  I offer all these hands can do to His glory.  I ask for wisdom, discernment and boldness while committing myself to obedience.  I close my eyes and bow my head.  I ask God to touch me with His power, anoint me.  He is my shepherd and I follow His voice....always and forever.

Day 159 - In Honor Of

In light of the events from today in Connecticut, I am going to respectively be silent and pray.  The lives which are 'broken' as young children were slaughtered at the hands of a sick young man cause me to have no words.  I leave it all at the feet of Jesus and ask for His sovereignty.

Jesus as you welcome home today many young children who flock around your feet I pray you will cradle them as we as a nation try and help the grieving parents to go on without them.  We need Your peace in a powerful way.  Amen

I will lie here in this field another day and pray for the fleeting time we call life.  In honor of the children, Lord Jesus, hug them....tightly.

Day 158 - On the road again

Today was filled with more writing and then some shopping and then on the road again to see my other grandchild in a school performance.  Home now and it is late.  Time for bed.

Lord, thank you for keeping me safe when traveling out of town.  Thank you for blessing my new business and the people I am working with.  Thank you for providing and being the everything I need.  Amen

So as I lay here looking at the sky I am feeling better, much more relaxed.  I know when this rest if over I will be energized to go for more.  I am happy to wait and move when I feel it is right.  Every avenue to mend something 'broken' is preceded by rest.  The more I rest the bigger the healing that awaits.

Day 157 - Christmas Luncheon

Had a wonderful time with some great ladies at the "It's Orchid" Christmas Luncheon.  It was a really nice two hours and the food was spectacular.  I really love these ladies and all the passion and purpose which they represent.  It is an honor to be involved and to help as I can.

It is a great time whenever I can get together with girlfriends.  I never had a sister growing up and my interaction with other women was very limited.  I am glad to have this time to build relationships.  That's what it is all about anyway.  God made us this way, to be in relationship.

Then I came home and started feeling a bit queasy in my stomach.  I don't know if it is a bug or something I ate but I'm hoping a good nights sleep will help me get past this thing.  I am not a good sick person.  I try and run fast from illness.

Lord, I loved having time with friends today.  Really didn't like feeling ill this afternoon.  Please take whatever is wrong in my stomach and help me get over it.  I submit my body to you and ask you to purify the temple.  I don't want to be held back, especially by being sick.  Got too much to do.  Amen

So taking a few minutes to rest.  I kick off my boots and laid down in the grassy area by the path.  It feels good to get horizontal.  I'm looking overhead at the beautiful sky and day dreaming a bit.  Helps to just let the mind go from time to time.  Helps me concentrate on The Lord.

Day 156 - Voices

Tonight I was able to hear the most beautiful voices while attending a concert. The voices belonged to middle school children of which one was my grandson. They are preparing to have a concert in the spring for a national meeting of choir directors. I am so happy for him he is not only a great student and football player but has a great voice too. Life is wonderful with grandchildren.

Lord thank you for blessing me with many grandchildren who continue to amaze me with their hearts so pure.  I am a lucky woman. Amen

Having completed this last climb and descent I am eager to rest along the path which leads to the waterfall I can hear in the distance. The beauty in nature and the sounds are like voices.  Everything in harmony.

Day 155 - In Love, totally

I just have to say, I love my husband.  When I think of where both of us have come from in our lives including how we met it is amazing.  Both of us have weathered some pretty harsh circumstances.  I had a difficult childhood and my husband had a more pleasant one.  We both met the Lord Jesus in the 70's and have been passionate believers.  When my husband found himself single and raising four children it coincided with the same time I was single and raising four children.  No one could have told me I would move to Texas, of all places, and meet a man who would change my life in ways only God could have orchestrated.

Now by no means has our marriage of twelve years been smooth and sweet.  We have had our storms but at the heart of who we are is the common bond of faith, family and politics.  Now I know you are thinking why bring politics into this?  Because I am a firm believer that part of being "equally yoked" is having a house that is not divided.  It would not do well for us to be on opposite sides.  Only creates a source of tension and opens the door for trouble.  No thanks!  Don't want anymore trouble than what comes in the day to day living.

Also we were very insightful to check each other out before we got married from a financial and cleanliness standpoint.  It wasn't enough to tell my soon to be spouse that I was financially sound.  Credit checks speak better.  He got to see how I keep house and what is important domestically for me. He saw how devoted I was to my family and understood where I placed these loved ones in my life.

Most of all where we stood biblically was most important.  We needed a common belief in the Lord and how we would value each others prayer and bible study time including groups we interacted with as a basis for a good marriage.

But I am happy to say we have a great marriage.  Always room for improvement but all the qualities are there to build on.  We have a commitment to each other and that is not up for discussion.

Lord, thank you for bringing Ken into my life.  He was exactly what this 'broken' soul needed at exactly the time I needed him.  I know gifts when I get one and he is a gemstone I treasure very much.  To me he is everything Christ wants for a husband to be.  I am one lucky lady.  Amen

So as I reach the base and look toward a long field ahead of me I take a few minutes to give thanks for foundations.  The world God spoke into being is what I am enjoying on this hike.  Everything builds on one kind of foundation or another.  These mountains have solid bedrock as the foundation and they are standing the test of time.

When I look at marriages today and how people move through them instead of in them it grieves my heart.  Both Ken and I know how devastating it can be when a spouse chooses to violate the foundation  on which you are trying to build something wonderful.  All the more reason we value each other more and more.

So my challenge right now is thinking how my story can help others.  I guess you gotta want help first. But anyone seeking a real solution can give me a call.  But before you call ask yourself these questions:
Are my values, morals, biblical and political stances aligned?  Do I bring everything I can to this relationship holding nothing back?  Do I truly value the other person enough to let them become all they can be?  Am I clean, neat and tidy?  Does my speech bring honor to anyone who hears me?

If you have issues in any of these areas the first step may be to get God's perspective.  These are just a few things that have helped me.  I hope they help you too.

Day 154 - Power Of Jesus the Rabbi

Today I spent a few hours digging into scripture and learning more about Jesus and how he lived in his own period of time and in his region.  It is very different to study how Jesus lived when it is very different from the western culture in which I live and have lived all my life.  It is fascinating and very enlightening.  I can honestly say there are a few things I am going to put on my list of scripture enhancing study.  One is to dig further into Isaiah 61.  The other to study the Old Testament more so the New testament references are easier to understand.  Memorization will be key too.

Lord, I want to learn more about the culture in which you lived and really understand my Hebrew nature.  I may not be Jewish but my learning of this people will help me know myself better.  I am so thankful for scripture and what it tells of Your story and mine since I am grafted into Your family.  Amen

So just a few more turns in the path and I will be a the base.  I am grateful for the ability to climb and descend but even more grateful for the healing of The Lord in my life.  Every chance to be with Him like Moses at the burning bush is anticipated and valued.  Praise The Lord.  I am your daughter and committed to You and Your passion for my life.  I want to be like the Rabbi of all Rabbi's, Jesus!

Day 153 - Nothing like Christmas

There is nothing like Christmas holidays.  I finally had time today to get the rest of the decorations out and around the house.  It is decorated as much as is going to be.  I'm ready now for company to come the 22nd.  I love all this holiday means and the festive atmosphere.  Looking at all the decorations on the tree reminds me of so many memories.  I have ornaments from long ago and it is great joy to think on the specialness of them each time the tree goes up.

Lord, how special are family and memories we have.  I am touched at everything I experience and what I can look back on.  Especially with loved ones who have left us we are glad to have times when we can remember them.  Watch over us, always  Amen

So as I get closer to the base of this mountain ridge I am fondly thinking of the distance I have traveled and everything God has done for me so far.  There is a lot to be said for remembering the past while excited about the future.  I may be having my own Christmas here on the trail but my heart is with my family.  Love can do that.

Day 152 - HB to me

Today may mark the rememberence of Pearl Harbor Day. But for the pst 58 years it has been my birthday. So today it is Happy Birthday to Me. That's all I have to say. I'm resting from my blog.  Till tomorrow.......

Day 151 - Christmas Family Letter

Today after uploading the next section of my curriculum I spent a few hours getting the Wicks Christmas Family Letter completed and in the mail.  I try to have it done each Dec 1st but this year I have been a bit busy.  It was nice to recount all we have done in the past year.  Time sure flies by.

After dinner and a bit of reading time with Nicole before her bedtime I found a few minutes to get this installment ready for posting.  I wish I could say I got some huge insight from the Lord today but not so.  Today was a quiet day.

Lord, I am so thrilled to be getting things ready for this new business venture you have placed in my path.  I am committed to do it with all the enthusiasm you have contained in me.  I know it will fail without You and so I lean on Your wisdom for content, application, and most of all the people You have waiting to be in the class.  Thanks is a simple word for a huge heartfelt joy.  Amen

Traveling down the path is calm and peaceful.  Not to much in the way of scenery here.  I am just happy to be descending for awhile.  I see off the path a very tiny pine tree but it is a perfect miniature of those seven foot tall trees I would remember in the corporate lots around the holidays.  I can't help but wonder what it would look like all decorated.  I take time to pause and gather a few things.  I pick a few berries and gather some flowers from the ridge to my left.  I bent down and started arranging them on the branches.  It looks too cute.  When I was done I stepped back and took a picture.  All I can say is the memories from this journey are going to make for an interesting wall arrangement.

Day 150 - Write, write, write

Today I was busy getting the curriculum for my new job written.  It was thrilling to be writing, using my love of writing, to make the content for this new Dental Business Office Manager course.  I was happy to be getting everything on paper.  It will be very exciting to see students enrolling to attend.  I am set to start with the first class in January.  A lot to do in a short amount of time.

One thing about writing is sitting for long periods of time.  I had to get up frequently to keep my lower extremities from getting numb.  Having a quiet environment to be able to concentrate on my writing is the best.  I'm happy and content.  I am eager to use all of the last thirty years of experience to help others.

Lord, it is nice how You conveniently align our paths to be able to bring our lives and experiences to a culminating point.  I have longed to help others and now I feel professionally qualified to do so.  If I can have one person in each of my classes which resembles me of thirty years ago it would warm my heart in ways I can't even imagine.  Lord bring them to me, the ones I can help.  Amen

So along the path I keep the camera handy for shots to chronicle my journey.  I am having the time of my life and so thankful God is taking me on this journey with Him.  I don't know what is around the next curve or over the next rise but I know who is with me and nothing will deter my progress.

Day 149 - Moving at a normal pace

Today I took Nicole to her play, then to get lunch and on to school.  I then went to meet for a business lunch and then home to write and work in my office.  This might seem like a hectic busy day but for me NOT.  It was actually relaxing.  Now I was busy.  There was no hurry, hurry, scurry, fast, faster like I have experienced in my months of employment previously.  For once I felt calm and got so much done.

It also helps because I start every morning with two things before I even put my feet to the floor.  In place of my mind thoughts of the days activities I have replaced those with 1) the Lord's Prayer reworded to be very personal and 2) giving God control of my day and all it will entail.  I can say it is a pleasing way to wake up and get going.  There is a relaxation and peace knowing I have filled my spiritual tank to the max.

Lord, it was a great day.  I love it because I get so much done and feel productive.  I don't have the drained feeling.  I'm not yawning mid afternoon.  I am energized and I know it is the Spirit, alive in me and on the job.  Praise You for giving us all such a great comforter.  Amen

Moving further down the trail head I notice something out of place.  It is a camera lying off the path but partially covered.  For a moment it took my breath away.  Why?  Because it looked like the one my father used to carry when I was a child.  It was just a camera but some painful memories flooded my mind.  My childhood consisted of more pictures than you can imagine, my father the amatuer photographer.  Home was a series of cruel pictures streaming like a movie reel. It was very difficult.

Mom worked and Dad worked two jobs.  Until they divorced in my first year of high school the fighting between them was often barely able to be tolerated.  My dad was a perfectionist and strict, very strict.  I was the recipient of many lashings which in todays culture would constitute jail.  I can remember going to third grade in jeans to hide the welts on my legs.  The belt beating was rendered for failure to keep my two year old brother from falling down on his head.  We were attending a family reunion and all the adults were busy and the children cousins were playing.  My instructions were to watch him.  I only turned my back for a second.  Bam. Screams.   Off the porch he tumbled and heavy footsteps coming in answer to his screams meant the worst for me.  In front of all my cousins I was layed bare bottomed while the belt cracked across my legs and glutes.  My crying only made things worse.

I gazed at the camera and then went over and picked it up.  I was astounded to see it fully operational.  Film loaded and partially used.  Obviously lost by a fellow hiker.  I decided to stick it in my backpack.  I could develop the photos at home and maybe find the owner by publicly displaying a photo or two.

After tucking the camera in my pack I paused.  The memories from my childhood needed addressing.  I had carried the scars on my heart for way too long.  I got on my knees and prayed.  I was in no hurry right now and feeling totally relaxed.  This was going to be time alone with my Heavenly Father and His touch was all it would take to heal a 'broken' wounding done by my earthly father.

I spoke like every morning.  A prayer of total control relinquishment.  "Jesus, I give you the pain the memories and the anger associated with this day when I was nine years old.  I ask you to help me forgive my father.  I want nothing to do with holding this bad memory any longer."

It didn't take long for an answer to come to my heart.  "My daughter I was there that day.  I couldn't stop his actions toward you but I could hold you close to me.  I took everyone of your tears.  I keep them in a special place.  A place where everyone who is wounded, grieved, lonely, aching has deposited tears.  It is these tears collectively which will wash over your heart taking the pain away.  Like driftwood on a wild river the pain will soon be gone."

All it takes is a word from The Lord to heal sometimes.  In this case my healing came from reconstituted tears.  Tears today added to those from fourty-eight years started the river flowing.  That river left love in it's wake.  As the current subsided a new calm called joy entered.  I opened my backpack and removed the camera.  I stepped back, focused and then set the shutter speed.  In a click of the trigger I exposed a shot of the place where one of my biggest childhood nightmares was restored.  I already have a plan for this picture.  I'm going to mount it in a beautiful driftwood frame.  I'm going to  display it proudly and as a testimony for all who see it.  Love is perfect and the end result is peace.

Day 148 - Test anxiety

Today I had to spend the majority of my time taking a continuing education course.  The thing I hate about taking classes is the post test.  I am a horrible test taker.  So I take notes like furry.  Then when I start the test I get a horrible feeling every time I miss one.  I think dental hygiene school ruined me.  Anyway I survived.  A huge sigh of relief when it was over.

Lord, thank you for allowing me the brain power to learn and retain information for test purposes.  I am so happy you provide skills so we can obtain knowledge.  The brain is a powerful thing.  I don't take it for granted.  Amen

So in the journey down the mountain I try and recall everything which has happened to date.  Somethings come back real fast and others seem to be lost.  I am so glad for my journaling along the way.  It will help with recall when the whole experience is over.  Onward I go seeking another wonderful experience.

Day 147 - Sabbath Rest

Church is very refreshing for me.  Every Sunday I get fed in ways I didn't think I could.  Today was no exception.  Pastor Morris was able to give a word about honoring the Sabbath.  I loved it.  Oh so true. The point it is a commandment, not a suggestion is also huge.  It has a blessing associated and a cursing if it is not kept.

For me the application is to put this principle into effect as I begin my new job.  I need and am expecting the favor of The Lord on my new job.  Keeping the Lord's command in regard to resting one day out of seven is not even up for debate.  It will be honored.

Lord, I submit to you my new business endeavor and ask for your blessing, favor and increase.  I will honor the Sabbath by resting one day out of seven.  Thank you for giving us principles to live by which are for our good.  I am so happy to be your child.  Amen

So as I go further down the path I see a couple of birds walking ahead of me on the path.  Both are looking for anything resembling food.  I could have scurried along and disturbed them.  This was one of those things I felt The Lord was providing for me to see.  Would I hurry past and thus have learned nothing in my time with Him?  But I did learn.  I learned to slow down and be observant.  I learned to rest and take in the beauty around me.

So I moved slightly to my right and sat on a stump near the path.  I reached into my backpack and removed a sandwich bag with granola crumbs from my morning snack.  Very carefully I placed the crumbs in front of my feet and then sat motionless.  Slowly the birds found their way over and beg to peck at a furious pace.  Then a very interesting thing happened.  The birds climb onto my boot tips to get a better vantage point on the newly acquired snack.  This was a first and I am sure the only time I will have two birds perched on my feet.  What I didn't have was a camera handy to capture the special moment.  This would have to be one I would file into my memory tank.

Immediately I thanked The Lord from my heart.  I was so happy to be one with nature, resting in the presence of others in God's creation.  It was like meeting kindred family.  Another created being, them small, me big.

Soon the birds had their fill and were flying off.  I was happy to have given them a morsel of food and to also have had more time to watch another created being.  After a brief moment soaking in the event I got up and stepped back to the path.  After walking a few feet I turned to look back and mentally seal the memory of this place.  What do I see but two squirrels cleaning up the left overs.  How funny.  They were probably watching and waiting for their turn.  I watched as they frolicked around and then scampered off.  It was a very peaceful day.

Day 146 - Do Overs

Have you ever had a time in your life when you wished to do something over?  Wether it was a mistake or a missed opportunity, you kinda want to go back and get another run at it.  Olympic athletes feel this on many occasions.  They can train and train and train for years and then make a mental or physical error and wish for a do over.

Isn't it grand that God gives us a do over every day.  We have His grace to begin again where we have made a mistake.  He allows us to learn and grow.  To me it is the best thing ever.  I know He loves me no matter what.  In Him I'm being perfected.  Being perfected is a daily experience.

Lord, thank you for the grace to start over when we miss it, blunder our way along, run when we should have walked.  Your grace is without limit and a commodity I value.  Amen

So as I am heading down the mountain path I hear God speaking to me in my inner man.  He is saying, "Never forsake my power that lives in your being.  It is because of my Spirit, alive in you, for which the glory of Christ speaks to your heart."

I am in awe.  There is a power in my inner being which knows, in an intimate sense, the love of God.  That love is going to help propel me along on this new journey.  When I encounter times of testing, trial, temptation to doubt, it will be the fire of Ezekiel which will ignite the flame of Holy Spirit to fill my heart and soul with the fullness of God.

I want to ride this vapor trail of God all the way down this mountain.  I want to sense Him every moment.  I want to be still, relaxed, holding nothing back and know He is God.  The only way is to breathe Him in everyday.  What joy!

Day 145 - Ending and Beginning

Today was a very difficult day for me.  It was the end of my professional career with Patterson Dental Company.  I had worked for the past almost two years with many great and wonderful people in this organization.  From peers, to the support staff at the local DFW branch, the Territory reps, and Equipment specialists and even others around the country, I bid farewell and continued great success.  It was indeed my pleasure to be apart of this team.  I loved what I did and the offices I met in the performance of my job.  I am proud to have met everyone and look forward to meeting again in a different capacity as I transition into a new facet of dentistry.

Leaving something to begin something else is scary and exciting.  I have answered this challenge many times in the over thirty years since I began my career in dentistry.  Each time the new adventure was a stepping stone in professional advancement and development.  I love dentistry and truly am blessed to be joining the team at Dental Compliance Specialists.

My passion for the profession has always been about making great staff greater by improving the quality of dentistry for patients.  And by educating the public in advances in dentistry to help make their lives better. I don't shy away from difficult situations or challenges.  It is part of who I am.  Being able to lend my years of experience to a company whose focus is on helping dental offices with their integrity excites me.

I purposefully give the Lord Jesus Christ my life in all that I do.  Without His guidance and wisdom I go nowhere.  I will continue to uphold my Christian values and moral principles which have guided me through my life as I begin a new professional chapter.  Honor and glory go to only One and having Him with me is comfort like none other.

Lord, today and for all my days be in charge.  Give me everything I need each day to be who You have called me to be.  Help me help others, it is my desire.  I ask for blessing on the Patterson family I am leaving and also on the Dental Compliance family I am joining.  May Your eternal riches be to each and everyone who seeks You.  Amen

So as I stand from the rock where I have rested to view the beauty of nature I bow my head.  I pray for all the places I have been up to this point.  I bring to this peak the 'broken' places in my life from my childhood to present.  I thank the Lord for the painful times when I didn't think I could go on.  I thank him for the pinnacle times when joy couldn't be contained.  I weep as I let every experience in life be remembered here.  My God is so good and I can feel His presence here like never before.  For a brief moment it is like His arms are a shroud for me.  The wind on my neck, His very breath.

As each care in life is absorbed in this moment I open my eyes to the most beautiful horizon ever.  Before me lies uncharted territory and behind me the path of my purpose.  I strain to take in the panorama and capture it in my mind.  I am confidently going to walk in all the Lord has for me as I start my decent.  I know those plans are for my good, for a hope in my future.  As I stand here delighting in Him I know He hears my heart's desire.  I am counting on Him for all of my tomorrow's.

I sling on my backpack, gather all my belongings.  In this moment I think of what Moses must have felt like on the Mount.  It is almost indescribable, yet now hidden in my heart.  Before I turn to leave I cry aloud, "Father I love you with a depth I can't describe.  I trust You completely.  I need you with me every moment.  Thank You for meeting me here.  As Your daughter may I live the rest of my life's passion with Your fervor.  May everyone I encounter feel You through me."

I wipe the tears away and start the trek into my unknown but where His promise is to be abundantly more than I can ask, think or imagine.

Day 144 - Bridle vs Tame

Heard an interesting thing today and read some even more interesting scripture.  It concerned watching what we say and choosing the correct words.

I'm sure like me you have found yourself regretting saying something.  Either you were angry, frustrated or whatever and you spout off with a comment or harsh word and then wish you hadn't said it.  Have you ever been so careless with what you said and to whom you said it you were embarrassed?

Well it happens to me most when I get angry.  But I am learning a bit more self control.  I don't want my words to hurt.  It causes such a long lasting effect.

I know because I grew up with two parents who were masters at assaulting with words. They didn't need a knife to carve, the words did all the slicing and dicing.  Both of my parents could fillet you wide open and then walk away as if nothing had happened, leaving you bleeding and emotionally dying.

Today in reading the word I saw in James where we are admonished to bridle our tongue.  Then a few scriptures later I see the statement that the tongue is not able to be tamed.  On first reading one might think they contradict each other but in fact both are describing exactly what is the issue.

Just like you can bridle a stallion and eventually break him, it is impossible to tame a horse who has not been successfully bridled and broken.  But in the case of our tongue you can only bridle it.  That means you can control it and guide it to correct action.  It takes discipline and self control.  What you can't do is tame the tongue.  It is always subjected to bridling to stay our of trouble.

Lord, I am grateful You give us such great descriptions about how to maintain our Christian walk.  Since the power to speak life or death is in our smallest member, the tongue, it is very important to know what we are asked to do.  It is in your strength and power we can accomplish the task.  Amen

Having reached the summit I decided to perch myself on a slanted rock face a few feet in front of me.  The rock face was hiding the view from me.  It would very carefully positioning my body in such a way as to get the entire panoramic view.

All the things that got me in trouble before I went on this journey are not issues here.  Why?  Because many of them had to do with how I reacted with others.  While I am positioning my self with my camera on this resting place I am reminded how much I miss interacting with people.  It is going to be really awesome to get together with family after this trip and share.  But for now the vista awaits.  Taking the lens cap off my camera I lift it to eye level and behold........sights I never thought possible.

Day 143 - Impatience

Today was exciting.  I was able to share with some friends about myself, passion and product.  I attend a networking group and the ladies are very kind and sweet.  Many are there to meet with each other and develop friendships as well as grow their businesses.  I have only been able to attend sporatically because of my day job.  With my employment changing in two days I will have time to be more involved and develop some cool friends.

Since I don't have a 'product' in the traditional sense I prayed and asked God what I could share that would be helpful to the women there.  I decided to encourage and inspire with thought provoking questions and helpful ideas for living a great life.

Today God also showed me a 'broken' portion it was time to heal.  Maybe you know it?  Impatience.  I am still a person who can get irritated and impatient rather quickly.  I don't like it and if you are one like me you probably don't like it either.  I pray and ask God for help, so many times.  I should know better.  The only way to heal this is though circumstances and situations which evoke a response.

Of course this morning while getting my presentation ready for my luncheon at Orchid I barked at my husband.  I was short and, I'll say it, rude.  I immediately felt bad and the cycle of: irritation, bad response, guilt, played out AGAIN.  Ouch it hurts to admit it but I am sure I am not alone.  So what to do?  Ask forgiveness and then submit the issue to God, AGAIN.  Through Him is the only way to heal 'broken' behavior.  Ignoring it does nothing to foster wholeness.  Out in the open, confessing,  God is able to work.

Lord, I am sorry and ask You to heal the root of what causes me to snap and respond unkind toward those I love.  Help me to be more like Christ.  You can see my heart.  I have compassion and love the people in my life.  I never want to hurt or disappoint them.  I want to be the best me.  Amen

So when I was about to the summit, ready to take in the beauty and majesty of God's handiwork, I tripped.  I feel hard on the path and just knew something was bleeding for sure.  On closer evaluation I was fine but realized slowing down my pace was wise.

While I was gathering my body into an upright position I heard The Lord speak to me.  He said, "When you are impatient, it is because you are hurrying and not paying attention to the things along the way I want you to see.  You fall and it hurts."  Wow, an answer to the root of my issue.  It is because I am in a hurry, not being observant of the things on my journey.

It is true.  My eyes were on the summit and for the last portion of the path I couldn't tell you what was there.  What had I missed?  In my haste to "get this portion of the climb over with" I took a tumble.

While I dusted off the dirt from my pants I thanked God for revelation.  My job now is application of the truth.  Slow and steady was the cry of the turtle and he taught the hare a lesson.  The race is not only about the fastest but rather the journey itself.  So onward I go having embraced another 'broken' area which I yeilded to the God for His healing power.  I know the view ahead of me can't measure up to my face in the dirt on this path.  Having been brought low, God spoke.  It just doesn't get any better.

Day 142 - Shy, Why?

Tomorrow won't be the first time I have spoken in public.  It will be the first time I have talked to a group of ladies about myself, my passion and product which is what the Orchid Networking group is all about. I have been participating, when I could, with this women's group.  I have met some fabulous ladies, learned alot about what makes them excited about their product or service and most of all the passion they use to propel them to success.  It is so cool to be able to call them firends.

I have prepared what I feel The Lord has laid on my heart.  I don't know if I am speaking to one or the whole group in attendance but I have submitted the whole message to God to use as He desires.  That is very special.  I can't wait!

Lord, I ask You to take my words, my story and touch the hearts of those who are coming.  I want Your blessing on everything I do and everything I say.  May I be found pleasing to You.  Amen

So just a few more steps and I am going to reach the summit.  This particular climb has been very challenging and although I have not experienced any severe circumstances it has been a tough go.  The best part is knowing God is with you.  I am comfortable in His plans for me.  I am counting on Him to continue everything He has started.  I'm running the race and will finish the course.

Day 141 - Home Stretch

This is the last week of work for me with my current employer.  I have been busy trying to get things together to take in on my last day.  It is difficult for me because I really liked everything I did in my current job.  I know even though I am not functioning in my current position I will be keeping in touch with many I have worked with.  I will still be working in the dental arena and my contacts with this job will be those I will touch base with in my new position.  I am eager to meet new offices as well and even more so those who are new to dentistry.

It is really rewarding to be able to use the years of experience to do something you have only dreamed about doing.  The exciting part of this weekend will be I am moving into "dreamed about" status.  I am so ready to move forward and I know how much it is reliant on God showing up and being powerful in this new job.  I am being obedient to walk where He asks me and I am fully reliant on Him for everything.

Lord, thank you for leading and providing.  I know You never call us to more than what we are capable of doing.  I thank you for giving me all the experience and now need Your direction and insight to move on.  I prayerfully consider You every day and how much I am leaning on You.  Amen

I can see ahead of me the summit.  I know enough to expect some grand vistas and beauty beyond belief.  Just like in our personal life we have to go though 'broken' things in order to see the glorious wonders.  The anticipation of what is to come makes me joyful.  Like a child at Christmas I am very eager at unveiling God's gift to me.

Day 140 - Circumstances

It was another great day at church today.  I had grandchildren visiting and they love to go to the Southlake campus of Gateway, our church.  We normally attend a campus closer to our home.  The kids are on sensory overdrive when they go to the classes during church service.  Today was no exception.

The service left me with a great takeaway.  "Circumstances are the things you see when you take your eyes off God."  Josh Morris, Pastor Robert's son preached today.  He challenged everyone to know how to find "comfort" in The Lord.  Comfort translated, with strength.  How awesome to be with strength in God as we walk this life.

Lord, I am so happy to be a child of yours.  Knowing You are the strength in my life is more than comfort.  It is peace, joy, hope for everything I do and will do.  Thank you for all You have given me.  Amen

As I keep pushing higher and higher I realize there is strength building in my legs.  I should feel tired but instead I have increased energy.  I can tell that I have everything I need to make the summit.  I keep from doubting and instead live in and through You.  It is the only way I know to exist.  Pushing on I am very excited to be going this course with You beside, around me and through me.  Right foot, left foot here I go.

Day 139 - BUSY

Busy, busy, busy.  Today started at 6am getting showered and on the road for Tyler, Tx about a 2 1/2 hour drive.  Funeral and family time from 9:30-12:30 then on the road back to DFW.  Home about 2:45 and then on to shopping and then home for dinner.  After dinner the kids bath time followed my decorating the tree while listening to Christmas carols and drinking egg nog.  Kids laid down to watch a movie and have fallen asleep.

I am truly a blessed grandmother to have my grand children around.  One here visiting this weekend from Phoenix and the other two from Waco.  Life just doesn't get much better in my opinion.  I love them so much but my 50 something body doesn't get around quite as fast as years ago when my children were small.  Never the less the day was a ton-o-fun.

Lord, it is great to be around family.  I appreciate the fact that my grandchildren are so engaging.  They are precious and divine gifts from above.  My heart is happy and the world is sweet when I get to have them over.  How wonderful life is and we owe all our days to You.  Amen

So as I continue pushing along this path I am at peace.  I think of all the family members that will be so happy to hear about my journey.  I think of the times I devoted hours for my kids and now I am finally getting to enjoy the bounty of their blessing.  Life goes on and on and generation after generation we speak into the lives of others.  I can't wait to share all I've learned during this excursion.  The riches of The Lord are powerful.

Day 138 - All the family

Today was a busy day between picking up family, two different ones at two different airports.  Then another Arties performance, followed by pizza and then making homemade dessert pies.  The pies were a flop but the fun was constructing them.  Then it was time for bed before a big day tomorrow.

Kids are so funny as they can get very excited and majorily dissapointed in a blink of an eye.  Heck, even my adult kids can do the same thing.  Today I dealt with both.  It was cute and I thought everyone would be happy with me having the kids so they could all enjoy Nicole in her play.  I kinda took the stance, I am going to do what for me is the right thing to do and then let others figure it out.  I can't make people reason a certain way to follow my logic and extension of hospitality.  As long as I am staisfied about the decisions I make, so be it.

Lord, thanks for showing us the proper way to act and your working to help us all.  Amen

It was rather slow going and I felt a huge burden lift.  For months I had tried too hard and it only made me more miserable.  So as I am walking along and following the switchbacks I am also replaying some of the more challenging times with other people.  I can only hope there will be more empathy extended and consideration of peoples feeling and actions before acting hastily.

Day 137 - Thanksgiving

Well today was the annual celebration of Thanksgiving.  Last year we were in Missouri with Ken's sister and husband.  This year we were with Ken's children and spouses.  It was a good meal and fun to be with everyone.  The kids had a blast and adults enjoyed football.

During the meal we all took turns going around the table and telling what we were thankful for.  It was very touching to hear and most everyone was thankful for family and the older ones for good health.  Seems the young ones were thankful for the Mayflower.  Guess that is correct, without the first settlers we would not have a first thanksgiving meal to celebrate.

Lord, it is very nice to be in great company with friends and family.  We enjoy our freedom and that means so very much.  We are also so thankful for the fact we are free and enjoy grace and mercy.  We love you and will never forget what you did to give us everything we have.  Amen

So as I keep hiking along I reach for a snack bar from my bag.  I get the pumpkin nut one.  It reminds me of meals with the traditional dessert - pumpkin pie.  Yum.  Can't wait to be home and enjoy some home cooking.  As great a hikes can be there is something to be said for home, food, family and a bed.

Day 136 - Greater love

Today my oldest daughter turns, shhhh....thirty-six.  I can't believe she is that age.  It means I'm not forty something any more.  Wow!  My children are all getting older and all I want to do is slow the clock down.

My daughter asked me to do something yesterday and I about fell out of my chair.  Anyone who knows me realizes I hate, let me say it again, HATE to shop.  I go and get what I need and leave.  The idea of roaming the mall, price comparing for the best deal, trying on clothes, etc. is something akin to agony.  When Nicole, my nine year old, asked me to go shopping this Friday, the day after Thanksgiving I told her, "NO absolutely not!  Of all day to avoid the stores, this is the biggest one."  I value my body and I my sanity more than to subject myself to the mob of gridiron women pushing, fighting, stealing to get that HUGE deal.  Nicole was not happy.

So when my oldest asked me to please go to two stores and get two "deals" for her since she was out of state and could not go herself, guess what?  I caved.  I told her, "Happy Birthday."  So in about thirty-six hours I am going to drag my well Thanksgiving fed body to the mall in search of her two special deals.  Please God, help me.

You know you are reading this and thinking the same thing.  There is no greater love than what you would sacrifice for your child.  Jesus knew this well.  When God said through Jesus a sacrifice of perfect life would be done for us He was in essence saying, "I love you so much, I'd die and am going to watch my son die, for you."  Pretty amazing!  If He loves us this much is it no wonder that we would do whatever it takes for our own children.

Lord, I love how you love me.  I can't fathom the depth of it but sure am glad that years ago I decided to give my life to You.  I expect you to help me, guide and protect me, and love me.  I lean on You for everything and honor You with all that I am.  Amen

So as I watched the squirrel moving gracefully through the tree branches pretty soon I noticed other animals arriving on the scene.  A bird landed in a nest, followed my a lizard shooting through a cracked rock.  Not to far away was an ant hill with a stream, like a black thread, leading into the mound.  All of them doing their thing.  All could care less about me.  All of them on a mission to care for themselves and the rest of their kind.  Just like we take care of our kind.  Nature, like our fellow man, is a truly awesome sight.

Day 135 - Crossing the Path

Today was another pretty day in my city.  Temperatures in the upper 70's.  You just can't beat that for this time of year.  Everyone is busy making plans for Thanksgiving and the holidays are off and running.

I have always used the Friday after Thanksgiving to decorate my house for Christmas.  This year will be no exception.  I love this time of year.  There is nothing more grand than celebrating Christ's birth and also our season of Thanks except Easter.  I can't wait for the tree to go up, lights, ornaments and then holiday music and egg nog.

Tonight I have my first holiday party with a group of ladies I met when we entered a contest to attend Pat Smith's "Treasure You Girlfriend Retreat."  So much has happened in my life since then, September 2012.  I can't wait to share it with the girls.  Of course the event won't be complete without a picture of all of us.  (I'll have to tweet it to Pat :))

Lord, I am so happy for the friends in my life.  It is because of relationships You went to the cross.  May I be found always head over heals in love with You.  Amen

Climbing the path with another healing souvenir.  I'm on the lookout for other trinkets.  I know the way will be challenging but I hear this particular climb has the best views once you arrive.  I'm eager to see the beauty of nature but I don't want to miss the 'broken' places along the way which are in need of a touch.  

Today I saw a squirrel scamper across my path and up a tree.  He flew so fast you couldn't even make out his legs.  I stopped to watch him play and thought about all the times I was so busy I couldn't be bothered to stop.  It was only a squirrel but it represents someone crossing my path.  I think the message today is to make sure I notice the people who intersect my life.  You just never know who God is going to use to be pivotal in your life.

Day 134 - Emotionally charged

Today was one of those days I never expereince very much but sure would like to.  I was able to visit with several people about my new job venture.  Each of them had really interesting things to share.  I was able to see God at work, positioning me in relationship for my endeavor.  Even though I don't know exactly what will transpire I know I am moving in the right direction.  I also have confirmation that what I am doing is in His plan for me.  Trusting comes when I open up my hands and ask him to fill them.  I am also aligning with Christ to have His mind on things instead of my finite brain with limited knowledge.

I am sure you can relate?  We think and plan but our thoughts are simply that, ours.  There is no way we can experience the magnitude of an infinite God.  Try as hard as you wish but never can you dream or have visions as big as He is capable of bestowing.

Reminds of when the angel of The Lord called to Abraham from heaven and said, "..in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore..." Genesis 22:17.  Abraham heard this after being obedient to something many of us would never do, offer to sacrifice your first and only child.  But Abraham was so confident and sold out trusting God.  God rewarded him with a huge promise.

I want to be found with this much favor.  I have lived my Christian life to serve others and I am a giver. My heart is for the helpless.  I know how to praise in the storm and how to be grateful in drought.  I also know my God is a rewarder.  He is all powerful.  He says nothing is impossible.  I'm in to Him and in all the way.  Without Him showing up in my life everyday I am nothing, a vapor.  With Him, limitless.

Lord, my heart can't explain how I feel.  It just beats in harmony with yours.  Words spoken about me that have tried to damage my core have been repelled by the love and grace You give.  There are no human words to convey my feelings.  All I know is to keep praising You, thanking You and honoring You.  With every breath in my body for as long as I live let me reflect You.  Amen

So I am about to chose the path and I have several to pick from.  Each looks challenging but my gut is moving me in one direction.  I don't know where it will lead and what I will find along the way but with this first step I am off.  It doesn't take long for me to know I'm on the right one.  I saw a vine in the shape of an "S" laying in the sandy place adjacent to several flowering plants.  I reached down and saw the finger of my father as he wrote S, S, S on a paper.  I fell to my knees and wept.

A huge 'broken' area of my life had to do with the time my father told my children, in front of me, how selfish, self-centered and spiteful I was.  I was shocked he would enter my home, and speak this way in front of my adult children.  For years I have carried that triple S branding on my heart and wished it would go away because I never saw myself this way.

Then like a bolt of lightening a sound came from heaven, the voice I knew well.  "You are MY daughter and this "S" means sacrifice.  The sacrifice my son made on the cross freed not only you from sin but your father from the sin of not ever knowing his one and only daughter the way I do.  Take this as a reminder of this place, this path, and know the greatest treasures lie ahead.

Day 133 - Appreciation

Today my husbands kids and respective families gathered for the dedication of the newest grandchild, Alexis.  It was nice for so many people to make the event and everything went very nicely.  Many of us also attended the chruch service that preceeded the baby dedication.  It was interesting to hear another pastor preach.  I can honestly say it made me appreciate my pastor even more.  Thank God there are different leaders for different lifestyles.  I can appreciate also the many different kinds of people who need to hear preaching from a variety of delivery styles.  It is nice to know that God can draw people to the leaders and fellowships where they can fit in best.

More than anything my husband and I want our children and grandchildren to know they can count on us, come to us with problems.  We may not have all the answers but we know many things which work and others which don't.  Our mission for the family is to help those that wish to know the best way to move through life.  Like I said above, different strokes for different folks.

Lord, I am amazed at how you draw people to where you want them for serivng the kingdom.  It is unique how you gift some for leadership and others as followers.  I am in awe of all You are in the world as a whole.  Thank you for everything you have done for me.  I offer my open hands to you, with all I have within me at Your disposal.  Please use me to my potential and for Your purpose.  Amen

So as I move toward the path leading up the next ridge I am excited at what lies ahead because this particular path is totally on God for strentgh, enlightenment, motivation and provision.  I will fail without Him.  With Him I expect to see a harvest of souls and great happiness at what He does through me.  It is blind faith and trust.  My confidence will grow as will my obedience.  Yeah!

Day 132 - Opening Day

Today was opening day for Nicole in "A Snow White Christmas" at Artie's Playhouse.  She had the lead forest animal role "Buck" and did very well.  She is loving the acting roles and wants to continue in as many as she can, advancing to the Main Stage where the adults perform too.  Sitting in the audience was enjoyable as I watched her "do her thing."  I am so pleased that she has this outlet for her talents and abilities.

It did get me to thinking though.  As adults are we using the talents and abilities God gave to us?  Seems such a shame to not use what the Master of the Universe deposited in us at birth and has grown in us over a lifetime.

I am glad that in December my new job is going to allow me to do that very thing.  All the treasures He gave to me I am going to incorporate in my new job.  In my off time I am going to venture into other areas addressing things I am naturally good at doing and enjoy.  It is an exciting time.

Lord, thank you for all You have given to me.  I so desire for everyone to know what it is You gave to them and how they can use it for the kingdom.  Please help us all to discover and then delve into those areas.  You will be there to strengthen, motivate, encourage and empower us.  Amen

So after getting my back pack in place and my shoes laced back on I am ready for the next part of this journey.  Ready, set, go....look out world here I come.

Day 131 - On my way

Yes it was my first day of vacation.  We were supposed to be traveling to Colorado and Kansas for Thanksgiving but had to change our plans after the family death a few weeks ago.  I am going to have time to get ready for my new professional venture.  I am so excited and scared at the same time.

Lord, what a great season I am in right now.  You are leading me not only in healing 'broken' places but you are also teaching me to rely on You for everything I need.  Thank you for being my all-in-all.  There is comfort in knowing provision, skill, ability all come from You.  I am honored You have chosen this daughter to see her dreams fulfilled.  Amen

So after resting a bit I look in my pack for my journal.  It is time to make some notes about my experience.  I want to capture it for the future and to give me a reference of where I came from and am going.  I can honestly say I am enjoying this adventure.

Day 130 - When you are out of sorts

Ever have one of those days when you feel out of sorts?  Kinda under the weather?  Blah..?  Well that was me this morning.  I hadn't even gotten up yet and I was icky sicky, sorta.  But I did get up and managed to drag myself into the bathroom to get dressed and then on the road for work.  I started feeling better pretty quickly and finished my day.  Vacation starts for me tomorrow and I am ready.

Lord, I am so thankful You watch over us for our needs and even perk us up when we are sluggish.  I hate it when I am feeling out of sorts but I know that You are there to keep me going and to provide all I need.  Amen

So as I sit to rest for a bit I think over all the places and the journey I have had so far.  It has been an experience and I am the better person for it.  I know God has some great things coming in my healing journey and I know He is guiding the timing for me to encounter them.  Thanks to Him for all I need.

Day 129 - About at the end

Well it is bittersweet.  I only have one more training day before the holiday and then I will be into my last week with my company.  The transition from my current job to the next is exciting but scary.  I am looking forward to all The Lord may have for me in this new job.  I am going to be doing something I have thought about for years.  After thirty years I will be able to use all of my combined skills in a job I'm developing. Yeah!

Lord, please guide me.  Give me the power to execute what you have for this new job.  Give me favor and start even now to send the people who are to be a part of this new project.  I give You all the glory for how You are working through me and how you will work in the lives of everyone I work with.  Amen

So as I move along I am anticipating great and glorious things on the new path I will soon embark on.  There is a grassy area ahead and I am going to rest there.  I know the next phase of my journey will be lively.  So happy to be in the plan God has for me.

Day 128 - Keep moving

Well today was a busy training day and for the most part it went well.  The training I do requires the impartation of a ton of information.  It is very difficult to grasp it all and be successful right away.  I am amazed at how some people get it quickly and others seem to be at a loss constantly.  I love people and anything I do that keeps me in touch with people is great.

Normal days even when they are busy can seem mundane.  But I have to view them as minature rests in the course of life.  Even though I am busy my brain can be in auto pilot.  This is needed from time to time, don't you agree?

Lord, thank you for allowing each of us the opportunity to rest from the onslaught of information and allow us to just function.  I am so thrilled You keep us from being overwhelmed.  Amen

So as I am walking along the path I am pleased to be able to mindlessly wander.  I stay within the path boundaries but my mind is not fidgity.  This is when it is great to think on heavenly things, praise the Lord, get lost in the kingdom.  What a wonderful mental excursion.

Day 127 - Newness of things to come

Time is winding down with my present job.

December will be exciting and scary at the same time.  I am trusting God, explicitly, as I walk into the new job ahead.  It is taking a huge thrity year passion of mine and allowing me to share with others but in a suffering economy it could be a source for worry.

But I am confident in what God has called me to and I know He will provie.

Lord, I am grateful that you are my all in all.  Thank you for every step I take.  You are there and making a way  when I am walking in faith.  Amen

Coming further down the mountain is a chance to get ready for what is ahead.  I'm willing to do what ever You direct me to do.  My confidence is in The Lord.

Day 126 - He taught us

Today our Pastor ended the series on The Lord's Prayer.  It was very insightful and I got some great take-aways to remember and use in my prayer life.  Doesn't it make sense we should always use the "model" prayer.  If it was good enough for Jesus it should be more than great for us.

I found myself reflecting today on the goodness of God.  Since it is Veterans Day remembering my own time in the United States Air Force came to mind.  It was a time long ago but also having other family members who served makes it special.  I'm thankful for our combined saftey and also touched by the ones we have lost in the line of duty.  

Despite the outcome of the last week's Presidential election the one constant is that men and women are still fighting for our nations freedoms.  I can't think of a more selfless act of service.  To be willing to die for freedom and for a nation of people you know very few of is something to be honored.  I'm gald we have today and all it means for those who served and those that are serving.  Most of all for the countless many that will serve in the coming years.

Lord, I praise You for ultiimate protection, love, mercy and grace.  Thank you for watching over our military and for our veterans.  Bless those in harms way, suffering ailments from duty and for the many who stuggle to find their way once home again.  May You touch and minsiter to all.  Amen

So as I carefully tuck the picture of Christ's hands into my backpack I settle into the journey down the path.  It is wonderful and free here on this trail.  I think back to the days of formation and drill, marching in step to a cadence and harkening to the voice a of agitated drill sargent.  As much as those  days bring memories of hard work and lack of sleep it also taught me well.  It gave me confidence, a sense of security with my fellow bunk mates and honoring a nation for the freedom we enjoy.  I wonder where all those friends are now?  So much has happened in forty years.

Day 125 - Beginnings in Life

I got a full nights sleep and am ready for the day ahead.  Since I have been gone from home for a few days I have some errands to run this morning.  I awoke with some aches and pain which happens to me in my back if I lay for too long.  Luckily I have an appointment with my chiropractor today.

I was thinking of my back and when it all went to wrong.  I have had times where the pain is intense and then others when it is manageable.  But all in all I have had constant pain for as long as I can remember.  It could be I was born this way but many people say it has more to do with an incident in grade school when a teacher placed me rather firmly in my chair.  My father even went to school to tell this particular teacher if I needed disciplining it would come from home, only.  If you lived in my house you would beg for punishment from school.  Both of my parents were harsh beyond reason when giving discipline. It is a miracle that I even survived my childhood from not only from a physical but more so an emotional standpoint.

So when we think about early life, once a child is born, we think about nurture.  Every child needs it to survive.  Beyond bottle/breast feeding there is nurture of the spirit.  I'm talking about how a parent reaches into the heart of a child and instills love, peace, a well rounded sense of worth and well being.  When all of those or most of them are absent where does the child get it, or do they?  It could be they find it from other family members, child friends or friends parents, teachers, etc.  In my case I got it from a few other family members.  Without them I do not know what would have happened to me.

Sad as it is many children are faced with this and the rise in child suicide is directly related I am convinced.  We can deal with bullies at school if we have a safe haven at home to fall back on.  Bullies at school are nothing more than kids who have no one and feel a need to be "somebody."  They may even be kids who are abused and have simply given up on ever being accepted by anyone.

Lord, I thank you for giving me some family and friends who spoke positive words and affirmation when I was young.  I'm glad I didn't become a harsh kid who felt abandoned, turning my low self esteem into hurtful actions toward others.  I am even more grateful you loved me and guided me to a place of grace where I surrendered my heart and life to you.  Coming into fellowship with Jesus was a pivotal part of my life and am so glad to be Your daughter.  Bless all the kids of the world and keep them safe and from the enemy.  Place a hedge of protection around them and bring someone into their life who can guide them to the cross.  Amen

I met a wonderful family today as I was making my way down the path.  Mom was hiking along with her two kids.  They were having a great time talking about school, the upcoming holiday season and who was more fit than the other.  I stopped them and introduced myself.  We had a chance to chat briefly while her children took out spiral notebooks from their backpacks.  The kids huddled together and started writing and sketching what they could see from the path.

"We are on a day hike to the summit, where I have a great surprise for them."  She was nervous but excited.

"Sounds fabulous.  I hope your day is fun filled."  I was happy for them.

"I brought them here to teach them how vast and wonderful our world is and how you can't always see the big picture from a low place.  You have to climb high to see it all.  I have recently lost my husband and their father.  He was taken very suddenly in an accident.  Our grief was huge at first and now is getting better.  We focus on the joy we have in our life and how much pleasure he brought to us over the years.  The children wanted to honor him by climbing, which he loved to do with us, and capturing our feelings this first time without him." She was getting teary as she glanced toward the kids busy in their journals.

"I think it is awesome you can do this with them.  What a huge blessing."  I was kinda at a loss for words.  The family love was radiant and God was teaching me yet again about the power of who He is.

"We are blessed and know it.  It wasn't always this way though.  My husband and I were very selfish people in high school and college.  We tended to our own way, he dated many women and I got pregnant at age sixteen, a boy who really didn't care for me.  I forced my mother into signing for me to have an abortion.  When my husband and I married I felt God would never allow me to have a child.  I had taken a life already and why would He bless me with another.  But He did because He is grace and love.  Both which I needed desperately.  I have given Him all my past failures and mistakes.  I pour love into those two kids because of the vast amount my heavenly father poured into mine."

"You are amazing and I can tell God wants to restore you in all areas of your life.  I will pray for you to have more and more of the nature of God so you can be everything He designed for You from the beginning in life.  You are His precious daughter and He loves you."

She hugged me and we both wept while the children continued journaling, focused on their task.

As she joined them and sat huddled together arm in arm I bowed my head and prayed.  God knew what was going on in my heart.  He could read the huge unspoken burden.  He was covering it with His pinions and asking me to rest there, beneath His wings.  I could feel the loving Father very gently removing a huge splinter from my heart.  A 'broken' place I never talk about and one I never thought would or could be healed.  Very tenderly He was removing it and then did something very astounding. He took my chin, raise my face to His level and kissed me.  I never have been kissed like this.  It totally drained all misery from my heart.  Then he took my hand, the one I write with, and rubbed his nail scared palm over mine.  It was like heat entered my soul and I felt release.  I didn't have words to describe my experience.  I simply cried and let it all go, right there.

When I gathered my self and stood up to move on I looked for the young family but they were gone.  I reached to get my backpack and noticed a piece of paper tucked under it.  I unfolded it to see a picture of Jesus's hands.  In the scars I saw my name.  Wow!

Day 124 - Missed one

So sorry for missing a daily post for the first time.  I was up early yesterday then drove to attend a meeting and then drove five hours to get home.  I was spent, mentally and physically, after driving over seven hundred miles in two days.  I attempted to watch some television but fell asleep.

Lord, I do want to thank you for giving me safe journeys to my destinations over the last two days.  I drive knowing you are with me and keeping me safe.  Amen

The journey down the mountain is going to go slowly.  Unlike climbing which takes time to not get exhausted, the downhill side can have challenges for the physical body if taken too quickly.  So I'll be resting often and enjoying the trip.

Day 123 - Time to move on

I have had time to reflect on the Presidental election results and am now ready to speak my piece and then move on.

I am a conservative, Christian and voted for the Romney/Ryan ticket.  I was not excited to make my selection this year due to not whole heartedly supporting either republican or democratic candidates.  However I could not vote for a candidate who has done nothing to "change" our financial situation but has instead made the debt higher.  I also hold Christian beliefs, on two key issues which oppose abortion and same sex marriages.  I also value my Christian faith and am concerned about candidates which do not recognize Jesus Christ as the son of God, His diety, and ackowledge Him before men.  Christ's death and resurrection is what assures believers of eternal life and we must accept the shed blood of Christ to be in relationship with the Godhead.

Having said all of this I am saddened more Americans do not hold to basic Biblical values.  Our Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to give our nation a great foundation.  Now our nation is very far from this foundation.  We have drifted away from who we were designed to be and this is extremely sad.  I have a G5 grandfather who fought in the Amerian Revolution to gaind freedom from Bristish rule.  I wonder how other nations see us now.  Have we altered our standing in the global community?

But my thoughts on how to react to having re-elected an administration so far from biblical values are to rely on God to ultimately rule.  The universe is His and He is the final verdict on everything.  The Bible tells us to pray for those in authority.  We are to pray for our Kings, Queens, Presidents, all elected leaders, etc.  It is not suggested it is required.

Lord, I want to submit to your headship in my life.  I know you are not surprised at things occuring in this world.  I lean on You for Your wisdom and guidance.  I ask for wisdom for all our leaders.  I also pray that the enemy and his tactics be thwarted.  Do what only You can do and thank you for Your protection and provision.  Amen

I stood at the top of this mountain and looked downt he path which descended in front of me.  I'm ready to move on and watch for the next 'broken' blessing of healing God has in store for me.  I started moving along the path, greatful for the down hill portion.  I am eager for the days to come.