Day 84 - The Father Wound

Well, my readers, it is time.  Time to address not only my biggest 'broken' area but for many theirs also.  More than address it, will be to bring God, the ultimate Father, into the situation for healing.

It is time, let's do this thing and at last walk in victory, peace, freedom.  We owe it to ourselves to stop wallowing, crying, bemoaning, wishing things had been different, using it as an excuse.  Now, today let's set our hearts on God and watch him do what we could never do for ourselves.  May we all become the daughters and sons of "OUR" most high God.

Today's sermon series on the Lord's Prayer started with the first verse, "Our Father which art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name," setting the stage for the beginning of healing the Father wound that many people carry, no matter of age, race, culture.  This will not be an instant healing for many, it will require us to take control of our minds by speaking life and truth on a daily basis.  But it will be the truth that sets us free.  It is truth revealed and the evil dispelled.  It is now our obligation to walk out this truth.

Here it is simplified.  God is our Good Father.  To quote my pastor, Robert Morris, "God Good, Satan Bad."  The first thing that we must be convinced of is that God is goodness and no evil is in Him, given by him, filtered through His hands, NO EVIL COMES FROM HIM.

Before you say, hang on a minute I don't believe that.  Think who is putting those thoughts in your mind?  I know the next thing you are thinking is, "Well what about Job?  God allowed Satan to bring calamity to him, it was all allowed by God, what about that?

First the focus, Satan wants us to direct our attention, in on what he did to bring ruin and carnage to Job.  Instead the focus should be on the real message of this book.  God, the good Father, knew that Job was righteous, a worshiper, a man of great moral integrity.  God knew Job would not curse Him.  God was correct.  No matter what Satan did to Job the man was sold out, devoted to a God whom he loved.  God restores his precious child with more than he had before.  Lesson learned by Satan?  No because Satan continues to try the children of God but we take those thing meant for our destruction and make good of them.  Hallelujia

So why do we refuse to run to our Holy loving God?  Because we have poor earthly fathers?  We think God is a pattern of our earthly father?  We hear the word father and God is not what comes to mind instead it is our earthly father.  For many that is just not good.  We see what we suffered at the hands of our earthly fathers and we want nothing to do with a heavenly one?

Keeping it real for my own healing and for my readers I will openly confess I had a perfectionist earthly father.  He was also stern, unloving, unaffirming and a source of fear in my life.  For many years I could not pray to God because I did see God as the same.  God created man in His image and I thought that meant His image was that of my earthly father.  I was always "working to get approval" from God most of my life because that was what I was doing in the natural.  Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Lord, thank you that I heard truth and over the years have developed a healthy prayer life.  For my readers who are still struggling with how they see You I pray for the words of the enemy to be banished from them.  I pray for healing of their thoughts so that they can develop a dialog that is healthy.  May You bless them with every good and perfect gift because that is who you are.  May we all take the bad things in life and turn them for good becasue our DNA is GOOD.  Amen

So as I rounded the corner on this mountain I saw a huge tropical forest, vines flowing from tall tree branches, moss on most of the trunks.  Some leaves gently flowed across the path and the clouds were a misty unbrella overhead.  I saw a toppled tree extending off the path and it had a smooth side facing the path.  I stopped, knelt down and folded my arms atop the trunk.  It was a perfect altar, a perfect place to rest, a perfect place to talk to my Daddy, my God, my Source.  Determinded to stay in this posture for however long it takes I waited to hear God speak.  When He did this is what He said, "My daughter I love you, I am THE Father, I am all you need.  Be at peace in my love and let that flow to everyone you meet.  Tell them I AM and there is no other."  For a moment I thought about Moses and his climb.  Could I be having that kind of mement?  Was the Almighty even closer to me than I realized?  If so I am not moving from this place as I want more.  I want more healing.

Day 83 - Treasured

It is very difficult to put into words what I have experienced the last 24 hrs.  It began with a voice message offering me the opportunity to experience Pat Smith's, "Treasure You" girlfriend retreat.  Little did I know when I arrived that within the span of one day I would be engulfed in love from so many women.  I had no idea what God was orchestrating and how it would forever change me in ways I don't think I fully understand.  What I do know is that some new girlfriends and I are going to be bonded together and mighty ready for ministry.

There will come a day when I can put better words forth to describe what has happened in my life but for now it is like basking in the sun.  You just want to lay and chill.  You want to drink in all that you can.  When your cup is overflowing you let it.  When the Word says He will pour out a blessing you have no room to contain, you get it.

Lord, I am a grateful woman that is blessed beyond my wildest dreams.  Though there have been parts of my life that were 'broken' I see your handiwork making those places useful again because you are fashioning the new me.  When I don't understand something it is okay.  I need to know to relax, you have it under control, I am your vessel.  Amen

Along the path I see many clouds rolling by.  They are different shapes and sizes.  No two are the same.  God fashions them for His purpose.  They are so close I can almost reach out and touch them.  How precious and wonderful.  I am in awe.  What a tremendous God we serve.

Day 82 - A Older Moment

I have a confession.  My blog yesterday was a day early.  I think in my hectic work week I lost track of the days.  Today is the eve of my anniversary.  I guess I was having an "older" moment.

As for today, it started as normal with a training but then an astonishing thing happened.  A contest I had entered and then not been selected for called me to let me know that someone could not attend the event and they were offering a spot to me.  I was elated.   I went home packed a bag and arrived to the event.  I came expecting that God would do great and mighty things and I refuse to leave without having touched the hem of His garment.

I met a bunch of really cool ladies this evening and hope to keep in contact with them.  New sisters.  I am so happy.  There are not words for how wonderful this event is and what God is laying on my heart.  There are great things coming tomorrow, I can just feel it.  When I get home tomorrow evening, FOR MY ANNIVERSAY, my husband and I will have the perfect cap to the entire event.

Lord, I praise you for allowing me this opportunity to rest, refresh and get serious about more 'broken' areas of my life.  For whatever You have ordained for me this weekend, I receive it all. Help every lady here to get what they need from Your tender care.  Amen

So walking the slope is not boring.  I can see ahead that as I physically get lighter so are my burdens. I know that there is more around every bend and I am on a keen lookout for You.  I want to encounter You in all of Your glory so that I can be Your instrument.  Nature shows me beauty and I am seeing it in myself too.

Day 81 - The eve of a big day

I can remember where I was this time twelve years ago.  I was having a rehearsal, followed by dinner, all my children in town and some other guests from out-of-state.  I had been planning this for many months, spent most of the day making sure everything was set-up to my specifications.  There was anticipation in the air, the music was going to be wonderful and no telling where I would rest my head the following night.  But one thing was for sure, I would finally be in the arms of my beloved and all that matter was that we would be the happiest newlyweds ever.  We had both waited eight years for this day.  We had remained pure to each other in a world where many live together before marriage.  We wanted our wedding night to be as lovingly devoted to each other as we confessed to our God as Christians.  It was the eve of a big day.

How about you?  Do you remember your wedding or is it a date on the calendar for dinner and a movie.  Don't get me wrong, in twelve years my husband and I have had a few that just seemed like another day in the myriad of days the run together to make years.  It is important though to look back and not only remember but try and feel what you felt, hear the sounds, see the event as the important moment it was for you both.

Lord, I am so excited that tomorrow is my anniversary.  I know that often our lives don't truly reflect how much I valued that day and all it meant.  Help me and my readers to grasp a new feeling for those important events.  We have more than we know.  Most of all please help us remember the day we said, "I do" to  You.  Nothing changed us like then.  Amen

So as I prayed about getting around this hole, my pulse a bit rapid, kinda scared for the first time on my journey, I thought of other times when my pulse beat a bit faster.  I could hear the Lord saying in my heart that He indeed had not brought me this far to abandon me.  There was a way by this obstacle.

A tree stood to my right.  Just to the left of that tree was a huge slanted rock.  There was just enough space for me to fit between.  It would be a tight fit but I could make it around.  As I inched my way hugging the tree I heard Jesus whisper, "I love you."  The stone provided me a resting place for my back as around the tree I spun till I was able to stand upright on the other side.  I kissed the tree which was laden with fruit.  I thought about Eden.  Did the tree of the knowledge of good and evil look like this?  I wasn't tempted to eat the fruit, like Eve, but instead thanked God for providing my safe passage.  It is time to do something else that was wrought with temptation, I thought.  Got to shed a few stubborn pounds.  Being more trim would have made that tight space getting around the tree a bit easier.  Yes, Lord, I know.  You love me.  The temptation of eating wrong is hurting me.  You'll help me.  I gotta tackle this 'broken' part of me.  Let's get after it.

Day 80 - Mercy and Grace

Some things just go together.  Cookies and milk. Eggs and Toast.  Can you think of some more?  How about a mom and a dad?  But sad to say circumstances can prevent there from being both in many homes.  Besides there being issues that can arise from a one parent home from the child's perspective it is hard to parent alone.  I know.  Been there, done that.

But what happens when you have two parents but they are from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds?  The children can often times grow up feeling odd, different, like something is missing.  Especially if one of the parents is absent.

That is where the twins, mercy and grace come in.  Kinda hard to have one without the other.  For Christians that is great news.  So happy God extends both to us.....free!  Think of it this way, mercy is given when we don't have to pay the price for something we did and grace is unmerited favor.  I love it because we are doing things everyday that oughta get us in trouble but God by His grace extends mercy to us.

Lord, help us all to rest in Your mercy and grace.  Help us to know that no matter what our circumstances, living situations, family structure or economic condition You are in charge and have designed us for Your glory to be seen in and through it all.  Amen

Taking this climb up the mountain trail is hard due to the weight of stuff from my past.  Little by little things are being let go.  I'm laying at His feet these burden bearing issues.  I am looking to Him to help me grow past them and gain more of the strength of Christ.  Not saying it is easy but it is worth it.

All of a sudden I stop.  I see something ahead that looks dangerous.  It is a huge hole and to my eyes I see no way around it.  It is too big to step over.  There is no place to maneuver safely.  I drop to pray.  God hasn't brought me this far to have me turn back.  He has an answer.  I need to hear it.

Day 79 - Letting go to go on

Ever tried to accomplish a chore and you felt like something was holding you back?  You tried to move but couldn't get anywhere?  If it is a physical endeavor it sometimes means finding the obstacle and then working to remove it or get around it. If it is a relationship we call it cutting the ropes.  The ties.  The connection.  But how you do it is most important no matter which analogy.

Sometimes God places immovable objects in our way to prevent us from getting into danger, slow us down or stop us all together.  When it is people related, using letters to tell people how you feel work nicely except they allow no feedback or interaction.  Letters allow you to speak fully, completely and without interruption.  Military are all too familiar with the "Dear John" letters.

Sometimes we just want to get going, let go, move on without having to wait, get sidetracked, argue, discuss, or understand to be understood.

We all have these situations from time to time whether physical or emotional or both.  Right now I am praying for Godly insight on just this.  I know that I need to address a few individuals, need to explain a few things and then see where it goes.  I'm afraid to them, though, it won't matter.  Why?  Because I don't matter.  Never the less it is something to be addressed for my 'broken' journey to continue.

Lord, please help me and my readers when we know the tugging at our heart is Your fingertips. Gently You are touching the wounds and ready to excise the pain, the turmoil, the injured area. When we know You are prodding it is time to confront so in love the healing can take hold.  Help guide us.  Amen

So as I head up this more steep climb I realize in order to have the strength and stamina to tackle this trail will require doing everything to lighten my load.  Being free of encumbrances and weight of sin.  Being free to move un-tettered like a hot air balloon  ready for lift off.  I know You O God are with me.  I ask for your divine guidance and the words to speak and the actions to take.  I feel the weight in my emotional being and I surrender that all to You.  Give me wings to fly and help me let go so I can go on.

Day 78 - People

People, people, people.  Can't live with some of them and can't live without some of them.  They are in your home, work, grocery store, doctor's office, bank and post office.  They sail past you in cars and holler next to you at sporting events.  They are everywhere.  Since we are not on a deserted island as a sole inhabitants, people are going to be everywhere we are.  Some we will like, maybe some a challenge.  Some will becomes great friends, others mere acquaintances.  Some we will love and others not so much.  Some will help us and others will hurt us.

The point is that with relationships we must invest something of ourselves.  How much is totally up to us.  We may give 95% to our marriage but maybe only 20% to our work associates.  You know how you size up the people in your life.  Consciously or not everyone has a place on a scale of 1 to 10 as to their importance in our life.  How much time we devote to them is reflected in our value of them.

The problems occurs when we value a person highly and they value us lowly.  Issues are bound to erupt.  Can you think in your life where these have happened?  I can and in every case my carnal man wanted to prove to them that I was worth being evaluated more.  But you can't force people to like you, respect you, and in many cases be decent to you.  Everyone comes from hurtful areas in their lives.  Playing out in their relationships are all the wounds from their past.  Ours too.  It is very important to remember that God views them and us all the same.  Wouldn't it be good if we could too?

Lord, I ask that you help me and my readers to work on the relationships with people on our list that need help.  As we offer them to you to move in their lives we are also positioning ourselves to be blessed.  May no one feel alone, rejected without a friend.  Amen

After watching the eagle soar and dive and rise and soar some more I knew that God desires to be our protection.  He also desires us to help others along the way.  Don't just pass someone by without greeting them.  When someone calls, call them back if you can't take the call.  If you get an e-mail that needs a response of acknowledgement, please do so.  If you find yourself in strife, end it fast.  Above all be to others what you want them to be to you.  It's the rule, the golden rule.  I'm sizing up the course ahead.  Which way to go?  I move forward and desire to keep going straight.  It won't be long and this experience will be over.  I want to have learned much in my time with God.  For sure I'm learning how valuable people are to me.

Day 77 - A Nano Download

For my readers who have not asked Jesus into your heart I will confess you are about to read a powerful thing.  My hope is that by being real, which I promised in this blog, you will come to know how much I love my redeemer.  I respect you as my friend and hope you will respect my complete vulnerability to share a great truth as part of my 'broken' journey. If any of it resonates with you please know, like me, you are not alone.

My pastor had some humorous moments in church today as he kicked off a new series, "The Lord's Prayer."  Now don't get it me wrong, it was a serious but not too serious message, (Gateway friends will get that.)  The humor that struck me also carried an insight that will forever change our family.  I was so thrilled at the ah ha moment that I nearly threw both my hands in the air and shouted.  Although verbal "Praise the Lord's" are acceptable, not in the middle of the sermon, in a very somber moment.  Instead, in my heart I confessed to God, "How could I have missed this for so long?"

My husband and I have been believers for over forty years.  We have experienced many things and heard many, many sermons.  We've attended bible seminars, conferences and bible study classes.  But when the Lord is ready to "in a nano second download" truth to you, it changes your life.  This event today in church did exactly that, the implications will be a game changer, (Gateway friends will get that too.)  Here is what happened.

Pastor Morris was talking about Jesus being the head over ALL principalities and powers.  This came on the heals of mentioning that the demonic will set principalities over cities, towns and nations with both territorial and familial tendencies also carrying strongholds under which they operate.  BUT in JESUS NAME we as believing Christians have OUR FATHER'S lordship as our authority to proclaim victory over anything that opposes Christ.  We exercise it in all situations where demons need to flee.  Before I get too preachy, how this affected me.

My husband and I have struggled in our marriage for the last several years.  The first few years were good but then little things started being annoyances and then some of them turned to major things.  Both of knew God had brought us together but we were questioning, "What is going on?  Why does there seem to be a wedge between us?"  Would anyone ever guess it could be a person, a child?  I sure didn't, until today.

We married in 2000 and in 2003 we adopted a baby, (another blog for another day.)  Everything seemed fine but slowly, a bit here and a bit there, we found ourselves in strife more than love.  The problem is that the enemy knew the power and love Ken and I held for each other and for those we ministered to.  I'm sure Satan was very displeased to hear we had not only found each other but actually bonded in holy matrimony.  It was going to take a sneaky, cunning way to gain access to us.  Both Ken and I had seen our share of devastation and we both knew all too well how to "kick butt and take names" in a heavenly sense.  But Satan, the liar and thief that he is, devised a way into our lives that we never suspected.  A baby we took into our home at 8 weeks old.

This baby girl had suffered drug addictions while in the womb.  Because her biological mom was living on the streets, subjected to horrible situations the likes we  shall never know fully, it can only be imagined the demonic residue to which this developing child had been exposed.  Since the pediatrician was amazed at how "normal" she appeared Ken and I praised the Lord for his hand of protection.  We didn't think about chasing out demonic strongholds or oppressive spirits.  This little girl is now exhibiting behavior issues and concerns, which have very slowly appeared.  Her doctor said it was "just her age."  Convinced it was more we have sought counseling.  We have tried everything short of pharmaceutical meds.  But today I received from the great physician a supreme prescription.....intense elevated prayer along with taking authority over my child, my marriage and my home.

Lord, I thank you that as believers we can hear your voice and obey.  It is good to know that in Jesus name all things bow.  As a mother and wife I take hold of that authority and profess that demons will flee and the peace, love and joy of the Lord will flow in greater measure in my child and in my marriage and my home.  For all my readers, I ask Lord that You provide what they need.  Salvation for some, healing for others, a bold "kick the devil out" for others.  I am praising You.... forever. Amen

So as I gently emerged from the misty cloud on this mountain I gasp.  Before me in panoramic splendor are mountains reaching higher still.  It dawns on me that 77 days ago when this journey began and I was laying in a beautiful meadow. The mountain I decided to climb seemed a challenge but worth the trip.  Had I seen the elevations that are in front of me now, would I have started the journey?  Would I have said, "That is impossible?  I can't do it?  It is going to be too hard?"  Maybe, and this 'broken' journey would have been delayed or never attempted.  But I did lace up my boots, stood up and started forward, up the path, committed to spend 365 days going wherever He leads.  I'm not looking back, can't anyway I have passed the tree line and the lowest hanging clouds.  It is up, it is onward.  As a lone eagle soars nearby I gaze, me eyes close and tears trickle down my cheeks.  God's reminding me of my favorite passage of scripture, I can hear it loud in my heart.
     "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty whose power no foe can withstand.  I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God on Him I lean and rely and in Him I confidently trust!  For then He will deliver me from the snare of the fowler and the deadly pestilence.  Then He will cover me with His pinions and under His wings shall I trust and find refuge; His truth and His faithfulness are a shield and a buckler." Psalm 91:1-4 Amplified Translation.

Day 76 - WOF, WOW

Having arrived home this evening from Women of Faith I am in spiritual overfill status.  This year more new changes in the format.  The two biggest changes were that the stage is located at one end of the arena instead of in the middle and Mary Graham wasn't there.  There was no drama and the speakers were split across the country.  There was a live band now and ballet dancers.  Many new things and a few unchanged.  Despite the differences the messages brought by the speakers were great!

The themes were: living fully alive, broken people, erasing shame, grace, going deeper with God, learning to seek, listen and trust Him.  All the speakers tied personal stories to their messages and the audience was moved deeply several occasions.  Overall the general message was how much God loves us.  That remains powerful stuff for everyone.

It will take me days to fully comprehend and get my take aways from this event but one thing I know with certainty is that I love God and am so thrilled that He loves me.  Now, like the journey in this blog, I want to know what He has in store for me.  I know there is more and I want to move in it.

Lord, I thank you that we live in a country where attendance at an event like this is possible.  We are a blessed nation and people.  Help my readers find their voice and then be obedient to follow You.  Amen

So as I go further along this trail I can feel the mist on my face.  I can see my body and feet but nothing else.  I slow down because the air is heavy with the moisture of this cloud.  I want to stop and crawl because I am not sure what is right in front of me.  I could be headed for a crevice or encounter wild animals milling about.  Then I take a deep breath and offer up praises to God.  I can feel Him with me and I have an reassurance everything will be alright.  So I keep moving ever so carefully.  I can't wait for the Sun to come out and be able to look up and see blue skies.  But for now I am trusting God and know He is my guide, protector and strength.

Day 75 - Psalm 147:3

Today in my quiet time I did more study into the verse for which my 'broken' blog has its foundation.  I thought I would share insights here especially as I take off this evening for Women of Faith.  I'm expectant to see all God has in store for this arena full of women.

From the New International Version, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  Psalm 147:3  In the Message, "He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds."

Siting Clark's Commentary, the "broken in heart" from the root Shabar which means to break in pieces.  The New American Standard Bible says that the Hebrew, Old Testament word, for "binds up" is Chabash which is to gird, heal, wrap about.  In regards to wounds, healing occurs for both the physical and spiritual.

The Life Application Bible gives this thought. "Sometimes we feel as if we don't understand ourselves, what we want, how we feel, what's wrong with us, or what we should do about it.  But in Psalm 147:5 God's understanding has no limit and therefore He understands us fully.  If you feel troubled or don't understand yourself, remember God does perfectly."  Psalm 147:1 tells us to Praise the Lord and it is good to sing praises to God.  The Life Application Bible goes on to explain, "Take your mind off yourself and focus on God.  Strive to become more and more like Him.  In knowing His ways you may better understand yourself."

So when I study a passage or verse of scripture I always look at the context it is written, the bookends so to speak.  What surrounds the word or phrase.  In this instance verse 3 is bookend with verse 1 and 5.  Verse 1 tells us to Praise Him, and verse 5 tells us He understands us perfectly.

So in verse 3 we can take confidence in the fact that God knows that our heart has been or will be broken into pieces and only He can come and heal/restore both the physical and spiritual aspects of that wounding.  My readers, that is well worth shouting about.  The struggle is activating this in our lives.  Taking it a step further, in the New Testament, Jesus suffered a beating and hung on a cross till life was gone to insure that we have this healing.  His wounds were open for the world to see but God steps through that shed blood, those wounds, to heal ours.  Can I get an AMEN yet?

Lord, I am thrilled to have this scripture to stand on and activate in my life.  Help my readers to grasp the full provision you provided so that no one needs to walk around wounded.  But instead take the healed heart and use that to bring healing to others.  Amen

So as I put my foot to the base of this new trail I look up.  The mountain path disappears into a low hanging cloud.  It kinda feels like I'm walking into heaven.  I don't know what awaits beyond the clouds but I'm not looking back.  I'm going to climb and praise the Lord for His goodness, and most of his healing.

Day 74 - Women Unite

I am so excited!  Every year for the last twelve years, usually in August, I have attended a women's weekend event called "Women of Faith."  Each year I went with family and friends in a group.  The event sells out very fast so we purchase tickets for the next year on the first night of the event.  Tomorrow is the first night of the two day conference.  Great speakers, drama and music.  A fun time for women to relax and drink in God.  This year is especially nice for me.

God has been doing great things in my life.  Many areas of 'broken' are being mended and vision for future endeavors have taken shape.  I am very hopeful that God will speak even more into my spirit during the next two days.  I am going expecting it to be so.  This year also holds another fantastic blessing.  I get to meet one of the platform speakers Pat Smith, wife of Emmitt Smith a retired professional football player.

I had entered a contest to attend a Pat Smith's Girlfriend retreat in late September.  Although I was not chosen my story was featured on TV and Pat talked about areas of my broken life that she could directly relate to from her life.  All of us have them, those areas that have hurt and wounded us deeply.  We are seeking healing so that we can walk a life of restoration.  I'm watching God do exactly that with me and He is big enough to do it you.

Lord, I am in awe of your provision of healing and what the restored vessel is looking like.  The new and old wine skins in scripture are like our past and future lives.  You make new things better most times than the original ever looked.  The functionality is enhanced because our focus in on You.  Thank you.  Bless my readers as they offer up 'broken' areas for You to mend.  Amen

So as I turned away from the scenic beauty to face the rugged terrain of this mountain I am pumped to get moving.  It is another climb but for every plateau I reach I am gaining confidence to tackle more.  I have a pep in my step and a smile on my face.  What's next?

Day 73 - The New Door

Like I said yesterday God doesn't close a door that he won't open a window.  In my case he opened another door.  My stepping away from Word Weavers was so very hard but a new opportunity to grow in my passion and vision happend today.

I was offered the opportunity to help lead and facilitate a new chapter of Orchid, a group I attend when I have free time around lunch.  I've been a member for several months and only attend sparatically.  With a new chapter, closer to my home and in the evening starting, I was eager to help out.

I love the founder and the other women in leadership roles.  I look forward to getting to know them even more and to open my life up to them.  I just praise God for how He is moving me.

How about you?  Do you have affiliations that you invest your time and talents in so that a vision or passion can thrive?  If so are you totally invested getting to know others and letting them know you?  Or is your involvement  more shallow?  Maybe its time to dive in deeper water and really invest yourself.  Somewhere.

Lord, help my readers to go deeper in their passions and investment of time with relationship building.  Help me to grow mine and be grown more by others.  Amen

So as I stand here on this ledge taking in with awe the majesticness of untamed nature. I take time to appreciae how far I have climbed and also how much more is still ahead.  I ready for another new day and new adventures on the remainder of the climb.  God is providing all the strength and inspiration I need.  Just a few more minutes here and then time for a deep breath and pushing on.

Day 72 - Endings and Beginnings

Christian people like to quote, "God never closes a door without opening a window."  It is true that as we journey through life we do encounter closed doors.  Many times we don't understand but by faith we accept that the God of the universe has our back and is in control.  Then when we see a window open, or another door, we start to get the picture of what God is doing.

I had one of those today.  For years I have enjoyed writing.  I have not always been great at it and still have much to improve.  I have taken courses, been mentored and daily write to grow in my craft.  I've even told my writing buddy friends not to critique my blogs.  These entries are me being real and my imperfection will show from time to time cause that is me.  Pay more attention to the message.

For the last year and a half I have been in a writing group (Word Weavers) and our steady members number about six.  We have all grown very close to each other and enjoyed reading and critiquing each others pieces. Due to my work and other demands for my time I am just not able to devote the quality time to writing and doing the coordinator position.  So I told them tonight that for the foreseeable future I was needing to withdraw.  That hurt me so very much.

I prayed so hard and asked God why something I love so much was needing to end and He was quick to speak to my heart that He had a new thing on the horizon and I needed to trust Him.  My stepping away was my act of obedience.

Lord, thank you for providing everything I need.  I praise you that you are bringing to pass the steps in a vision you have given to me.  I am delighted to be obedient and watch you manifest in my life.  Amen

So as I reach toward the top of this cleft edge I can push with my feet and, like the birthing process, my head and then shoulders start to emerge from the rock.  The rest of my body follows quite easily at this point.  The next thing I know I am standing on top of this ledge and the beauty of untouched nature is all around.  Having just traversed to an area not many go I can see the reward is raw, pure, exquisite godly handiwork.  It is pristine.  Marvelous beyond words.  I am in awe.  I'm going to take awhile to drink in all my eyes are feasting on.  Perfection from God.  I wonder if this is what Eden looked like?

Day 71 - A Long Day

Ever have one of those days that is soooo long.  I had one today.  Up at 5am and then on the road by 5:30.  Two and a half hour commute to an office for training and then seven hours of training.  Then an hour commute to grandson's football game.  After an hour and a half game then another hour and a half home to my daughters house to spend the night.  No way I was going to drive two more hours home.  And what would a full day like this be if you didn't get an invitation to pull over by the Texas Highway patrol.

The last part of my day story above had me confused.  The officer told me he clocked me three times exceeding the speed limit.  There is just no way.  I don't know too many offiers that would let you speed three times and then decide to pull you over.  Plus he said he clocked me in a location I was not even there.  But at 9:30pm on a country road I have never traveled and with my two grandchildren with me it was no time to be questioning authority.  He advised me he was only giving me a warning.  As he left to go and write my ticket I used the time to tell my grandchildren how to best handle situations like this.  Keep your cool and by no means arguing.  After a brief 15 minute stop we were back on the road again.  The most upsetting part for me was I don't speed.  I get all over my husband when he speeds.  So the mere thought that I could be the one the officer was targeting was baffling.

Lord, I thank you first that I didn't get a ticket this evening.  But even more important was that I set a great example for my grandchildren.  They didn't see me turn into the incredible hulkette when it was very obvious I was not in the wrong.  I love you Lord that you are our fair judge that goes before us.  Amen

So as I am hoisting myself up this tight rocky place I realize that many times we find ourselves in difficult situations and having a calm head and being at peace do more than getting angry ever does.  I can almost feel the upper ledge so  I know I am getting close.  Shouldn't take much longer and I will be able to stand tall on this ledge.  

Day 70 - Two make what?

Today's message at church was about the calm and peace found in the eye of the storm.  I have shared my testimony about the two valleys that made a mountain.  What else can you think of that takes two? It takes two chocolate wafers to make an Oreo, two all beef patties to make a Big Mac and two singers to make a duo.  Think of all the famous duos in entertainment and in scripture.  The main point....we don't go it alone.

But with the message today about a storm and the absolute calm in the eye most people have to figure that it takes mighty winds to get you in the eye and there will be mighty winds as the eye passes.

Our struggles as like that also.  We can withstand the onslaught of the storm knowing that God is with us and will bring a calm and peace.  We must brace ourselves for the additional force after the calm.  By allowing Jesus to surround us with His peace and strength in the storm we are fortified to face the next storm.  We are even able to handle more adversity in the current storm when it rages like a tempest wave that comes again and again.

When I left you yesterday I said that my storm at present was in regards to a delicate family matter.  I can say that today before church dialog did take place between me and my husband so I could share my concern.  I now leave it to God to weather us through this as only He can do.

Lord, thank you for your peace and calm.  I love that we can rest in You.  Like Peter who asked if it was you to bid him to come walking on the water, I want to be found obedient and without fear knowing You are in charge. Help my readers facing storms and not at peace, maybe even fearful.  Help us all to see that the fear is directly opposed to the faith You long for us to walk in.  Amen

So as I sat braced on this crevice while I admired the bright blue sky overhead I looked and there is was, a split like a small cleft in the rock above me.  It was the size of my hand and I knew in that moment that if I were to grab into the rock and pull I could move upward.  My mind went to scripture and where God was referring to Him being the cleft in the rock.  So I reached out my hand and placed it in the cleft.  It was the answer to my being stuck.  I was able to pull myself up and knew that now I would gradually be able to climb out to the ledge.  He is faithful to provide what I need just when I need it.

Day 69 - Stuck

I know you have heard the expression, "stuck between a rock and a hard place."  I always wondered what that meant.  Where did it originate?  So I went online to try and find out.  All I found was different peoples definition of what that means to them.  In brief the best examples I am found, and I am paraphrasing are, either choice has undesirable consequences.....in between two uncomfortable positions.

Yep I guess you could say that about me right now.  You have been there too, right?  So what do you do?  If either choice is going to be bad, how do you move forward?  Take the lesser of two evils, to coin another expression?  Or do nothing?  It is very difficult to decide.

Mine rock and hard place involves my husband.  I am watching him grieve over his daughter, my step daughter.  Through her own poor choices she has become very sick and now destitute.  It would be easy to help her had she not fallen out of favor with mostly everyone due to her lies and manipulation.  The only person that is still helping her is her father, my husband.

My difficult position, my two hard places, is that I don't like what this stress is doing to my husband and our relationship.  Her dire situation causes him great agony, turmoil and has stolen all joy from his life.  I don't want to seem callus by stopping help, quit enabling, make her be responsible for her self.  I try and think how I would react if it were my biological son or daughter.  If not for the grace of God it could be mine or even yours, my readers.

So what is the correct thing to do?  Leave her alone to fend for herself or get others outside the family to help or keep doing for her?    I don't know, so I do nothing.  I am frozen, unable to offer nurture and sympathy because simultaneously I'm angry at how it is tearing my husband apart and thus our relationship.  Is this speaking to anyone of you, my readers.  Are you struggling with a family member who is wayward, addicted, frail and a constant drain of your resources, time and attention?

Lord I give this entire ordeal over to you.  I know you have a plan and purpose for all of us.  My husband and I have gone the extra mile for our children and do it gladly.  But show us when we have done too much.  When are we getting in Your way by rescuing and enabling?  Come mightily and speak to us.  I need your wisdom and guidance.  Amen

So on the mountain climb I find myself wedged in a crevice.  I am braced with my back against a stone and my legs supporting me on the adjacent rock.  I can look up and see a brilliant blue sky.  It is not much further.  But I have to rest and wait for my strength to recharge.  While I am waiting it is a great time to offer praise and thanksgiving to the Lord.  In everything we are to give thanks.  So even though this portion of the climb is very hard and difficult to figure out how to maneuver, I know God has a plan and I need to hear and then act.  Speak Lord for your daughter is listening.

Day 68 - Winds of Change

Wind.  We hear it referred to in weather, changes in life, movie titles, instruments, and levels of physical fitness. I bet you can think of more.  I look at it in the eyes of change.  In the course of life wind carries me from one event to another.  Some good.  Some not so good.

Today a wind came over me during my morning prayer time.  I was on sensory overload with vision, life course, etc.  I was not able to write fast enough to capture all I was getting.  I did manage to focus on one and put it in the field of my spirit where it can be cultivated.

It involves vision.  How about you?  Do you have a vision for your future?  Not goals, or a five year plan but an actual vision statement because you have heard from God.  Don't feel bad if you don't.  It only took me fifty-seven years.  Better late than never I say.

I hope that you will pray over this and ask God to give a vision to you.  If it seems slow in the formation just remember that there maybe some events that have to transpire before it will come into view.  I can see why mine took so long, I had life changes that would be used to shape my vision and I hadn't experienced them yet.  So hang in there.  You will get yours and when you do you will know it. It comes infused with divine power, a path to follow and the plan for implementation.  Like Indiana Jones it will require faith to step where there is nothing fully confident that God will place his undergirding to carry you to fulfillment.

Lord, please give my readers everything they need to help them step into a vision for the plan and purpose for which you hand crafted their life.  Help them to see that the good and not so good are all streaming from Your hands of love and meant for their good and the good of many more that will be in their sphere of influence.  We trust You wholeheartedly.  Amen

So as I climb I can feel the wind around me.  The coolness is refreshing and I am eager to see what is above me.  No time to look back, I'm forward focused and upward motivated.  I can see why the eagles like it up here.  You can almost feeling like soaring.

Day 67 - Cooler Weather

It is becoming fall.  In Texas that doesn't mean much since we really only have two seasons, hot and less hot.  When we do get a nice fall temperature day it is grand.  Today is one of those days.  Since we have had so many days over 100 degrees this is a welcome respite.

I wish I could say that I feel fall festive but my Spirit is sad.  Today a family member who is struggling with a life threatening illness continues to deal with consequences for poor choices in her life.  Just when we thought there was a good living situation arranged that has all evaporated.  To compound matters yet another poor choice played a part in the immediate emergency decision to end the living situation.  Now she is without a place to live and with no money.  Once again, no one is coming to help but my husband.

Lord, I know you oversee our lives and have answers to our problems.  I bring this situation to You and ask that the best thing for everyone concerned would be brought to bear.  Most of all please help my immediate family to deal with it in a manner that causes less stress.  I love my husband and know that he is struggling the most.  Bless him with Your strength and peace.  Amen

So on the climb it is important to keep my focus.  Distractions can be physical challenges.  I submit that as the air gets cleaner, crisp and cool on this climb it also a time to dig into my spirit and enjoy the journey.  There are difficulties we all face but they get smaller when our big God is on the scene and the control is left with Him.

Day 66 - Tough Going

Well you have all heard the expression, "When it rains, it pours."  That's the place where my family is at the moment.  When you have as many children as my husband and I do and many more grandchildren, there is always something going on.

I wish I were at liberty to discuss the details of what is pressing us now, but I do not.  Needless to say it is a difficult situation and needs prayer.  Which had me thinking about all the times in church I would hear someone say, "I have an unspoken request."  Praise God, He knows all our unspoken needs.

Lord, it is a really trying time right now.  For many of my readers they have times of unspoken requests.  We are so thankful that You see, know, and are sending the answer before we pray.  Thank you in advance for all that will happen and how you will turn this situation around.   Amen

The time I spent on the resting spot has only served to show me even higher ground to traverse.  Please guide my every movement.  As I place my foot to the soil, give me strength to climb when my heart is frightened, my muscles are shaky and my spirit is anxious.  My trust is in You!  Station angels around me for protection and wash me with Your powerful presence.

Day 65 - Adoration

You know I have heard many women complain that their husbands are not romantic, adoring, devoted, etc.  Seems all the romance that was flowing like a river in courtship has become minimal to non existent in the years after marriage.  The constant is that women never lose the desire for adoration.  They wanted in during the dating phase and require it no matter how many years they have been married.

Similar conversation came up with my husband the other day.  Yes I know he loves me (head knowledge), and he is a great provider and wonderful helping around the house.  The problem is, I told him, tender acts of romantic displays go further for inviting an evening of marital pleasure than doing nothing.  He may view household chores as a means of showing me how much he cares, and it is wonderful, but it is not the same as sitting arm in arm while watching television or an unexpected kiss or hug.  Simply stated, women just don't snap into the mood.  A man may have thoughts that occupy his mind most of the day but women generally do not.  Especially if they work and tend to a family.  Thus the reason for date get-a-ways, dinner for two with the kids at a sitter, tender embraces, flowers or love notes all move us into amore, more.

I started wondering how God's male nature and female nature plays out with us.  I think that is why God gets it.  He understands both sexes vantage points equally.  He loves us totally as we are.  Better yet, He is able to receive from us in the love language we speak and give to us at a level we desire.  Truly awesome.

Lord it has been the common battle of the sexes for years.  Men are from Mars and women from Venus.  Thank you that in heaven all the worlds collide and we are one with You.  Help us to plod this sod with as much bonding as we can until we all get to our true heavenly home.  Amen

Climbing some portions of this mountain path do get physically challenging.  Much like the 'broken' things of life.  They require a bit more muscle to achieve but the summit always looks good and feels like an accomplishment.  It is a place to enjoy the journey and brace yourself for what is ahead.  Today I felt like I was climbing one of these steep paths.  Help me to add more adoration into my verbal tank till it overflows my heart too.  I'll praise and adore you as I keep climbing.

Day 64 - Excellence

I have a pet peve.  My husband would say I have more than one, haha.  For this blog, I have one that came up in my prayer time.  It is the lack of excellence.  It is a commodity that is sorely lacking.  It is a character flaw shared by far too many people.  Many just do enough to get by, slack with work they have to do and really just slide through life.  I think it is a terribe way to live and a poor example to present to children.

So when I was in prayer I ask God what, if anything, I could do about the problem.  What I felt I heard in my spirit was, "do it right and others will notice."  So instead of complaining about something wrong I decided that my own level of excellence was all I neded to be responsible for.

Lord, please help me to pattern my life after the excellence I see Jesus portrayed in the gospels.  May all of us strive to be a replication of our heavenly father.  Amen

So as I am moving along this path I'm determined to concentrate on excellence.  I am pumped because I know that it is a step by step process like healing the 'broken' places.

Day 63 - Leaving is so hard to do

Well today my trip to Arizona ends.  I finished my conference and my visit with the family.  I have to admit though it is hard on a "Mimi" (that's my grandma name) to say goodbye to a precious four year old.  I just hate it because my grandchildren all live a distance from me.  I have two in Texas within a two hour drive but the others are in Kansas, Minnesota, and Arizona.  Not good.

But part of life is watching your children grow up and then marry.  They make lives for themselves and that often means moving.  Thank goodness for holidays and time for the family to come together.  I love it when they come but the hard part is saying goodbye when they leave.  It is hard on the heart.  

It made me think if the Lord often feels sad when we spend time with him and are so close we can hear His heart beat and feel His presence.  Then we get busy and our time we devoted to Him, dwindles.  For some they walk away all together and never spend quality time unless there is an emergency.   How He must miss us.  He longs for seeing us and hearing our voice.

Lord, thank you for seeking us and missing us when we are absent from Your presence.  I have a heart that is grateful and full of adoration for You, my creator.  Help us all to never cause you sadness by being away from You.  Amen

So my journey to get healthy has begun and  I am choosing to make that great spiritual health too.  I know the 'broken' areas of my life are only waiting for me to be fully submitted to my God.  I have placed my total trust in Him and  am confident He has a great journey still ahead.  My job....keep stepping.  I'm not settling for less than His very best for me!!            

Day 62 - Tackle a big one

Okay, I am now over two months into this blog on 'broken' but yet I haven't tackled the big one, "weight loss."  Even though I know there are still other areas of my life the Lord has yet to have me deal with the most pressing one that causes me the most stress is getting my body in line with my spirit.  For most people it is called going on a diet.  I choose to call it alignment of my flesh with my spirit.  Getting to a healthy weight and maintaining it.  The goal now before me is arriving at an appropraite body mass.

Adding a regular exercise program is very important too.  I find, like most women, that I choose to think of my own needs last.  The challenge will be to think of myself first so that I can be in a position to be helpful to others.

I heard someone say it came home to them when they thought through the instructions from the aircraft attendants reviewing the oxygen masks.  ".....put the mask on yourself first and then assist those around you."

How about you?  Are you busy with everything else other than taking care of yourself?  When was the last time you did something for yourself.  And can you do it without feeling guilty?

Lord I ask for your help in my life and that of my readers.  Many of us struggle with putting our needs first.  We are so busy that the last thing that gets done is something for ourselves.   Help us to be balanced and to get healthy.  Then we can nuture, love and genuinely care for oursleves.  Amen

So the trekking across the mountain path is taking on a new dimension as I watch over my body and what changes I need to make.  Not saying it is going to be easy, no not at all, but worth it, YES!  So join me.  Get up in the morning and say, "today is the day I start the me adventure."  Spoil yourself and in turn you will find, like I bet I do, that we are much more able to help others.

Day 61 - A Tribute

I am going to deviate today from my regular blog style to pay tribute to a woman who exemplified  Christian service and action.

Louise Marie Kinder Stock -

She was a mother of five and my mother-in-law for  over ten years.  I lived with her and my father-in-law, Paul Joseph Stock, Jr. in the early days of my first marriage. Their marital bonds and role examples linger with me to this day.  Both of them served in their church and community.  They loved their children and did anything they could to nurture them in a loving home.  I was honored to be able to be a part of their family and to have known them.

Although my father-in-law went to be with the Lord many years ago both of them hold a fond place in my heart.  Now Louise has joined Paul and they are once again in marital bonds with Jesus.

Although the family will grieve at her passing it is a day to rejoice for the life they lived, the family they called precious and the countless grandchildren and great grandchildren who have them in their lineage.

Rest in peace, dear Louise.  Kiss Paul Jr and Paul III for me when you see them and enjoy the embrace of our blessed savior until we all meet again in our heavenly home.

Day 60 - Precious Little Ones

It was grand getting to hug on my granddaughter yesterday when I arrived.  There is nothing better than watching the delight in a childs eyes when they re-connect with a family member.  They have such pure love, it made me think.  I wonder if this is how God feels when we spend time  with him, especially when we have been distant from him for any length of time.

I will admit that I have days I am so busy that I skip my prayer time.  Not a great idea and I feel like I am missing something.  I think the joy of a childs face is the same joy God must shine on us.

Lord, I love you and I miss when we are absent even for a day.  Please see my heart and those of my readers who are longing to be closer to you.  Amen

The mountain journey is a bit brighter today with the love of Jesus in my heart.

Day 59 - Working through

Well I had an opportunity today to work through a 'broken' issue of mine, impatience.  I went to a training today and as expected the sense of urgency communicated when the appointment was made was the furthest thing from reality.  Yet again....I was in a situation where I was unable to do my job because of the rushed experession of another.  It was indeed a time to work through my initial anger and relax in the situation.  I am excited that except for venting to my spouse I was able to "let it go."  I wrote a business email and then "let it go."  No stewing, upset stomach, nervousness.  Now I am not bold enough to think that one correct response is a sign of cure all but it is a huge step in the right direction.  Cause for celebration.

How are you, my readers, coming with 'broken' situations?  Are you seeing any victories or parital success yet?  Don't forget that it is a day to day walk out to find our peace again.  I hope you are able to see changes in your lives too.

Lord, I am so thrilled that the Holy Spirit is being a calming force in my life in great measure.  I thank you for all your provision and care given to me and to my readers.  Amen

This mountain is such a beautiful place and nature is all around.  It is hard to imagine that problems exist when you are surrounded by such beauty.  But when I praise the Lord for victories it helps to do it in a place like this.  I am blessed and rejoice in every small step because I know that one day these steps will pave a way to total freedom.  

Day 58 - Sense of adventure

On the road again, or I should say flying again.  I am off tomorrow to attend a conference in AZ.  The upside is I get to see my daughter and ganddaughter too.  This is a conference I am excited about attending because I hope to learn so much more about dental office management.  In my last twenty plus years I have been mainly working on the clinical side of dentistry.  I am sure that many things have changed for the office management side and I am ready to get caught up-to-date.  But it involves traveling and that is probably one of my least favorite things to do.

Funny for me to say that because as a child my dream job was to be a flight attendant.  Now the thought of a flight anywhere is not exactly met with exhuberance.  I guess it is because I really don't like being away from home, family, comfortable surroundings. I prefer the status quo.  My sense of adventure isn't what it used to be.

I think about that when I am spending time with the Lord, reading the Bible, praying, singing a few worship tunes.  I kinda get in a familar rut and I tend to repeat the sequence over and over.  I have a favorite place to read, I like the same songs and all that changes are my prayers.  Different needs and focus keep that from being a stagnant pool. 

How about you?  Do you mix up your "Jesus" time?  Do you vary the place, length of time, style?  If we are not careful even the most rewarding and refreshing time, that spent in God's presence, can become a rut and the adventure gone.

Lord, please help me to find my sense of adventure again. I want to always be renewing my style of being in your presence.  Amen

So the journey along the moutain brings me to a perfect place to pray for today.  However, to increase my sense of adventure I am going to step off the path and into a shady spot among a grove of trees.  There is something about being among trees, especially majestically tall ones, that makes you feel protected.  Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.

Day 57 - Vision

I've been reading deeper into "The Blessed Church" by Robert Morris and I must admit it could have been titled, The Blessed ???, you name it, because the principles apply to everything in life.  In prayer while reading chapter after chapter, highlighting and writing in the margins, I have begun to develop the vision I am pursuing.  I can't do this in my natural strength.  Only by submitting to God my talents and expertise will this vision become reality.  It seems huge to me, but my God is a big God.

It's fun to dream.  It's great to put your plan and vision on paper.  It is like drawing the plans for a dream house and then sitting back and allowing God to show you the steps involved to get there.  The best part is having God as your dream mate and dream maker.  My part: obedience, hard work and perseverence.

How about you?  Have you looked inside yourself and found that purpose, dream or vision meant for you?  Are you active in making it become reality?  Have you submitted it to God and are waiting to see the hand of God move?

Lord, I am so blessed to be able to hear from you.  My Spirit is alive and the seed planted in me for ministry is growing.  Part of the plan is the healing of my 'broken' places.  From the healing will be a birth of vision.  I am grateful to be chosen for the task you have laid on my heart.  Please bless each of my readers as they seek to find that special plan you have prepared for them.  Amen

So the peace river is flowing, teaming with life.  I am so happy that even in our weakness God uses us.  I can't help but praise Him all the more wtih every step I take.  My time alone with God is always full of more than I deserve and rich beyond treasure.  May my life continue to be a fragrant aroma attracting others to His kingdom.

Day 56 - Peace of contentment

This is a holiday weekend which means an extra day off work.  It is a time to get extra things done around the house or relax and re-charge.  In my case it was a bit of both.  I wonder why it is that people that work wish they had more time off and those that stay at home long for something to do.

It got me to thinking that it boils down to being down to being content.  We find ourselves throughout life in various situations or circumstances.  Being content has more to do with our mindset than it does anything else.  How about you?  Do you get disenchanted from time to time?

For me it is another 'broken' area of my life.  I find it hard to be content.  I am always looking for a better way to do something, another ladder to climb, etc.  I get so many ideas about different things to try that I make my husband dizzy with, "Hey honey, I know you are not going to believe this but I have an idea."  Good thing is that I don't act on all these ideas.

Lord, it is my heart to find contentment and peace for many areas of my life.  I want to really know the "rest" to be found in You.  Help me and my readers who struggle with this.  Amen

So continuing on after my Sound of Music re-enactment I ponder peace.  What is it really?  How can I get it and stay grounded.  I want that peace that passes all understanding, that guards my heart and mind.  So I pray.  I know that God hears and peace, like a river, is sure to flow soon.

Day 55 - Don't accept man's words

For the better part of my life I have struggled to find my purpose and how to use gifts and talents for the kingdom.  One thing I for sure was I could sing.  I was in choir from a very early age and all through my school years.  I didn't excel in high school as much as I would have liked because I couldn't sight read music.  Still can't.  Unless I have heard the melody at least once I can't "cold sing."

But the most damaging thing happened when I was in a church praise team. The music leader decided to make two teams for the various services.  He called a meeting and then proceeded to divide singers into the two teams.  I was only sad that I might not be singing with my best friend.  It never occurred to me and I was not prepared for, "Sorry but we don't need you on either team.  I was shocked.  This was not happening.

Have you ever been in this spot?  Maybe it wasn't singing but it was something you knew God had gifted you to do. Did it take the wind out of your sails?  Like someone knocking the air from your lungs?

That event so scarred me that to date I have not sang in an organized group since. It hurt my heart so badly and I chose to believe the words of a man over the gift from God.  It wasn't till I was in prayer today that it dawned on me that I must believe in God's directive, His report, the leading of the Holy Spirit.  God did not give me gifts to just toss aside because a man said so.  Part of my healing in this 'broken' area of my life has everything to do with using what God has already given.

Lord, I thank you that the gifts and talents You dispense to your people.  They are forever.  They are not given and then re-trackded.  They are meant to be used.  I choose to correct this and look for opportunities to use my talents for Your glory.  Amen

As the embers fade and the campfire grows cold I am eager to continue along the path.  I am thankful for the song in my heart and the voice to sing it.  It feels great to be in His hands.  I hear a tune in my heart and it goes like this, "The hills are alive, with the sound of music....."  With not another person in sight I belt it out as I twirl and pretend for a moment.