Ever have one of those days when you just want to be weepy. Well today was one for me. Nothing in particular making me sad, just feeling a bit left out. Resigned to a life I never saw coming but is all the same.
Now don't get me wrong, I am blessed and have really nothing to complain about. But there are those days when everything is going right and yet you just feel life is lacking something. I am not going to get super spiritual because I told you this blog was the real me, the good and the ugly and even some bad in there when I find it worthwhile to blog about it. Today you, my reader, are going to think I am bad.
It started out as a very good morning. My husband off to attend the early morning prayer at our church and me at home because, well someone has to stay home with the daughter. Then after watching the live streaming event on my iPad and having my own personal time of praise and prayer I went to wake up the daughter for school. She is sick with a slight fever and obviously can't go to school. Now being a stay-at-home employee right now it was at least nice I did not have to cancel a day of work. But never-the-less it was an inconvenience. Not near as much if it were tomorrow or Thursday because she has evening theatre and vocal classes which are just starting.
Home on the coach with medicine and plenty of fluids and chicken soup she is coughing and hacking, congestion and mucus, yuk! But it got me thinking and I think this is where I went bad wrong. My husband and I would not change a thing about adopting Nicole. After all she is our granddaughter and when in a desperate situation it is what I think most loving caring people would do. The bad thing is my husband and I are not going to be able to know what it is like to enjoy the benefits of people our age. The ones retiring, moving into senior condominium living to ease the days of slaving around doing yard work and such. We also have to be concerned our health stays vibrant, our mental faculties are acute and precise cause we have homework to monitor, projects to help with, places to shuttle her, friends to have for overnights, etc. It can get exhausting and even more so because we are not 20 or 30 something.
So much for my bad pity party. I confess today I was weepy for the golden years we are watching slide by while we do the rat race like all our children who have children. God I love you and please forgive my indulgence of regret.
Lord, please help me to be focused on You so much that the things of this world mean nothing. May my life be a blessing to my family first and then my friends. Amen
So trucking on up I realize this climbing stuff is really hard on a getting older gal like me. But stop? No way. I gotta get to the prize. I have to stay the course and finish the race to the best of my ability.
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