Well my friends when I left you yesterday, Blog Day 9, with pounding footsteps in the hearing of my nine year-old self I never dreamed where this day would take me. Let me finish the memory and then the greater call before me.
It was a family reunion dinner and all my cousins and myself were outside playing. I was told to keep an eye on my brother who was a toddler at the time. I remember being on the large square cement porch when someone called my name and I turned to acknowledge them with a reply. As I did, I simultaneously heard a thud and scream. Yep, my brother had fallen from the porch head first into a cement-bottomed window well next to the porch. As I scooped him up in my arms and tried hard to get him to quit screaming I could see the goose egg of a bump appear on his forehead. My cousins came running to see what the commotion was all about. It is then I heard the footsteps. The door flew open and my mother grabbed my brother as my father ripped off his leather belt. He proceeded to pull my pants down and lay me across his lap. There in front of family looking on he dealt out blow after blow. No one stopping him. The pain was intense and the humiliation worse. From my knees to my buttocks I was required to wear pants to school to hide the raised welts. The only thing I remember saying as my father appeared in the doorway was, "I didn't mean to! Please don't!"
That memory to this day is as vivid as when it happened. I wish I could say that the years have diminished the pain associated but not so much. I have made the choice to forgive my father but the memory remains mine forever.
As I take footsteps on this 'broken' journey I want to offer to God that my footsteps will always be His to control. My passions given He gave to me have grown and my purpose will be to use everything for Kingdom missions. Today I got another piece.
I have been writing my blogs the last three days late at night because I had to be at jury duty early. I was on a jury for a trial of a young man. I will not discuss the offense, the testimony or the verdict we reached. But in the course of the three days I received verbal accusations by my fellow jury mates and it was traumatic to my spirit. As low as I felt, I did what I always do. I prayed and asked God to take this very thing that was harmful to me and turn it for good. The good was immediately apparent to me.
For over ten years I have worked Walk to Emmaus spiritual weekends for women wanting to draw closer to the Lord. Never would I have considered working these same weekends in a juvenile or adult penal environment. Working with criminals was not for me. But from day one this week, even during jury selection to the entire time I served as a juror it became very apparent to me that is exactly where I was to offer my next years of service.
Lord, I submit to you that through the pain of anything you can work great and might wonders. I have heard and I will obey. Here I am Lord, send me! Amen
So as I take more footsteps along the path and climb this mountain I have also been birthed into a new ministry opportunity and I couldn't be happier or more excited. I am eager to help the 'broken.'
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